Alia Shawkat Reviews New York’s Viral Frozen Yogurts

New York City has a new obsession, and it involves standing in line. Froyo spots have been multiplying across town, drawing crowds that wrap around the block for a cup of something cold, creamy, and extremely Instagrammable. Before she wrapped up her run in Cherry Lane Theatre’s You Got Older, Alia Shawkat, who stars in the upcoming stoner comedy The Wrong Girls, got in on the craze.

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VAN LEEUWEN

What does it remind you of ?

Someone’s attempt at ice cream. It doesn’t take me back to any personal memory.

What does it taste like?

A little icy-forward. I want it to be a little more creamy. And some sprinkles somehow got on here, which I don’t like, but the chocolate shavings are good.

What mood is this for?

A lunch break. Like you had a weird salad and you want something sweet.

What’s the topping situation?

Chocolate, coconut, sprinkles, but they all sort of taste like texture.

Is the topping ratio right?

I’m a big toppings person. It’s definitely not enough if I were to finish it. I’d be stranded.

Is it worth the hype?

Is there hype?

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DOWNTOWN YOGURT

What does this remind you of?

The froyo I used to get in the desert growing up.

What mood is this for?

It’s giving warm, sexy night.

Describe it in one word.

Luxurious.

What’s going on in your mouth?

A very classy taste.

Would you order this?

I would. It needs a topping though, besides the little ducks.

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16 HANDLES

What does it taste like?

Processed sugar on top of processed sugar on top of processed sugar.

What’s the topping situation?

It’s a lot. We got cake, cookies, gummy bears, a kind of salmon egg sperm. Some people might like this.

Can you describe this froyo in one word?

No.

Would you order this?

This is very not me.

What’s the consistency?

I had the tiniest bite and my mouth is coated. I can’t imagine eating this whole thing, I’d have a heart attack.

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MIMI’S

What does it taste like?

This is the most hyped soft serve of the bunch. Coffee. Very good.

Have you ever waited in line for viral food?

Not for viral reasons.

What does this remind you of?

Like what you’d get at a fancy restaurant, served with some compote or something.

What mood is this for?

If I was in a good mood on a hot day, I’d wait in line for this. I wouldn’t wait too long, though. It’s not that good.

Who is this for?

I guess people who wait in line for viral food.

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CULTURE

What does it taste like?

The best part is the dark chocolate brownie. This one might actually be my favorite.

Where does this take you?

Redondo Beach or Laguna Beach. Being an insecure teenager and eating froyo.

What’s the topping situation?

Brownie—gooey in the middle, crispy on the outside. The combo with the tart is really fire, as the kids say.

Would you order this?

Yes. Honestly, I’d wait in a small line.

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BIRDIE’S

What does it taste like?

Very good vanilla. This is the high-quality stuff.

What does this remind you of?

Sand?

Can you describe it in one word?

Grandma’s.

What’s going on in your mouth?

Probably decay. I didn’t brush so thoroughly this morning.

What mood is this for?

When you feel like you spent too much money on clothes. You’re like, “I’m actually broke but I feel rich right now.”

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Hair: Seiji Yamada using Color Wow at Walter Schupfer Management.

Makeup: Soo Park using Saie Beauty at The Wall Group.

Nails: Leanne Woodley using Aprés Nail at See Management.

Lighting Direction: John Law.

Fashion Assistant: Macarena Cubino.

Fashion Interns: Lucia Brown and Claudia Sanchez.

Production Direction: Alexandra Weiss.

Photography Production: Georgia Ford.

Production Interns: Ha Chu and Isaac James Levy.

Post-production: Two Three Two Studio.

Location: Contra Studios.

Special Thanks: Jenny & Gino Ammirati at Culture An American Yogurt Company, Laura O’Neill & Cady Roberts at Van Leeuwen Ice Cream, Neil Hershman at 16 Handles, and Brittany Kahn at Downtown Yogurt Tribeca.