“Both Edward and Jacob Suck”: One Night in Brooklyn With 3,000 Bloodthirsty Twi-Hards

SUNDAY 5:30 PM NOVEMBER 16, 2025 BROOKLYN

In 2005, Google Maps was born and Stephenie Meyer published Twilight. Two decades later, these two parallel inventions have grown ubiquitous, something that became abundantly clear to me as I watched my blue Maps arrow make its way from the East Village to Flatbush in a sea of Twi-Hards. We were headed to Twilight in Concert, a romantic live screening of the saga’s first installment accompanied by a 12-piece orchestra (playing the film’s score) and a thousand twinkling candles. Bad news, my date bailed on me halfway through my voyage. But I still had company: 3,249 other attendees, to be exact, who’d sold out the Kings Theatre to demonstrate their love for one of this century’s most popular, fanatical franchises, 20 years on. To my right, I first spotted an OG Twi-Hard, then the late-comers who bought their tickets twice after getting scammed. “You’re one decision away from having a completely different life,” said a Rosalie sympathizer snapping mirror selfies outside the bathroom during intermission. “So just try your best to be the great one.” By the time the curtains had come down, the security guard who ushered us out had made his allegiances known. “Why doesn’t she love Jacob?,” he asked. “Eddie almost got her killed twice. Goddamn.”

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LILIANA MORALES

 

SIMON DWIHARTANA: So what brings you here tonight?

LILIANA MORALES: Twilight was big when I was in college. It was a big cultural phenomenon. So it’s kind of hard to say no to a live orchestra with the movie.

DWIHARTANA: Are there any memories of the franchise that you want to share?

MORALES: Yeah. Oh, man. I remember reading New Moon and being so depressed. It just brought me down because it was that intense. But sharing the memories of the movies with friends, the memes, the commentary—I feel like that’s kind of the biggest part of Twilight for me.

DWIHARTANA: If they were to adapt Life and Death into a movie, who would you cast as male Bella and female Edward?

MORALES: Wait so, the girl’s a vampire and she’s pursuing a human boy.

DWIHARTANA Yeah. 

MORALES: Oh my gosh. I mean, top of mind is like Mia Goth, only because I just saw her in Frankenstein and I feel like she’d be really good.

DWIHARTANA: Oh my god, yes.

MORALES: Bella’s character, as a boy, I don’t know, man. I have so many problems with Bella.

DWIHARTANA: We all do.

MORALES: I might have to come back to that one. 

DWIHARTANA: Do you have anything to confess?

MORALES: There was a fan site in the early 2000s called His Golden Eyes, and you need to look it up on the archive. When Twilight was being published, that’s where the OGs would go for fan art and fiction, and just all general Twilight. And it’s a deep cut. If you mention it, a lot of people won’t know it. But if you mention it and someone’s eyes light up, they’re a real one. They were in the trenches. 

DWIHARTANA: Ooh, I’ll have to look that up after this. What’s a hot take?

MORALES: Both Edward and Jacob suck. I don’t know if that’s a hot take, but I feel like the fandom is so often divided and I’m like, “Neither.” She needs to dump both of them and just go live her life.

DWIHARTANA: No, literally. If you were Jane, Dakota Fanning’s character, who would you wish pain on?

MORALES: I mean, like, everyone in the government right now.

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SHEILA CORONA & DESTINY BAXTER

 

DWIHARTANA: So walk me through the fit. What’s the inspiration?

DESTINY BAXTER: Ugh, I don’t even know where to begin. I was going for gothic ancient vampire, but then it turned into cunty work siren.

SHEILA CORONA: Mine was maybe a little more Morticia Addams, a little more modern.

DWIHARTANA: We love it. Do you guys have any hot takes?

CORONA: Team Edward is the only right choice.

BAXTER: Edward was just a little weird, and it’s okay. We’ve all liked a little weirdo before. If he’s not obsessed, what are we doing? If you’re not his personal brand of heroine, what are we doing?

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] What do you have to confess?

CORONA: I actually watched the movies backwards.

BAXTER: Oh, that’s weird.

CORONA: The first movie I ever saw was Breaking Dawn Part 2.

BAXTER: My confession—this is also kind of like a hot take because people don’t really like this one—is that my favorite Twilight movie is Eclipse. Eclipse was just too good.

DWIHARTANA: Wait, really? 

BAXTER: And I kind of hated New Moon. [Laughs]

CORONA: No, so real.

DWIHARTANA: Last question: did you guys remember that Anna Kendrick was in this movie?

BAXTER: I did because she was such a bitch.

CORONA: I hated her. I really did.

BAXTER: Not even a hot take, but she was just like, fucking weird. Girl, you know damn well you were mad because Bella was the new girl in school and nobody wanted your ass. 

DWIHARTANA: If you were Jane, who would you wish pain on?

BAXTER: My ex.

CORONA: My science teacher from like fourth grade. It runs deep.

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KHALILAH DENSON & SHANIYA WILSON-HARPER

 

DWIHARTANA: What’s a hot take?

KHALILAH DENSON: I feel like now, people wait to make an opinion once they know everyone else’s opinion.

WILSON-HARPER: I think it’s just a reminder that you only live once, so you definitely want to just make the most out of it. And I personally believe you’re one decision away from having a completely different life, so just try your best to be the great one.

DWIHARTANA: Wow, I didn’t expect us to get all deep at Twilight in Concert. Do you guys have any confessions?

DENSON: Confessions? I haven’t dated in five years. I don’t know, I’m scared of the population now.

WILSON-HARPER: Not me being in a relationship…

DENSON: You found one of the good ones.

DWIHARTANA: Emmett son or Rosalie daughter?

DENSON: Rosalie daughter, she needs a daughter.

WILSON-HARPER I’m going to agree with that.

DENSON: I just feel like with Rosalie, she wanted a kid so bad, and I feel like she really needed to have a regular life but she’s always living vicariously through everybody else, and I feel like that would’ve given her some closure.

DWIHARTANA: Actually, what I meant was, would you want to have a son that’s like Emmett or a daughter that’s like Rosalie?

DENSON: [Laughs] Oh! A son, then. 1000%.

WILSON-HARPER: I’m going to go with the girl.

DENSON: We do have to fix the demographic. I want to adopt a white son so that I can infiltrate the system from within. You know what I’m saying? And if he got into politics, I wouldn’t be mad. And he has a Black mom… Please, we would rule the world.

DWIHARTANA: Okay, my last question: if you were Jane, who would you wish pain on?

DENSON: Our President. Hello.

WILSON-HARPER: Yes, same thought, immediately.

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CHELSEA HENRY & BRIANA RUSSELL

 

DWIHARTANA: Walk me through the fit. You can go first.

HENRY: I was trying to go for Bella, but I think I’m giving Elena Gilbert [from The Vampire Diaries].

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] Not the dupe.

RUSSELL: I was going for Bella after she transformed, like—

DWIHARTANA: Dude, you’re the second person who said that.

HENRY: Because she was so tea.

DWIHARTANA: Okay. So what’s a hot take?

RUSSELL: Carlisle is daddy. Carlisle is hot. There’s no other hot take than that.

HENRY: That is not a hot take.

RUSSELL: And Bella’s dad. People don’t want to see it, but the man—

HENRY: I feel like people are sleeping on Jacob. But the dad though, yeah, that’s it.

DWIHARTANA: Wait, which dad?

HENRY: Bella’s dad. Charlie. 

RUSSELL: Charlie can get it.

DWIHARTANA: EJ or Renesmee?

HENRY: She tried to play with EJ. No, she was playing in their face with EJ, that’s why her back broke. Renesmee, for real. Renesmee, because even Renesmee knew that was wrong.

RUSSELL: I agree.

DWIHARTANA: She heard it and she was like, “Mom, what the fuck?” Bam! Breaks her spine.

HENRY: She was like, “Mama, no! Mama, no!”

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] Would you want to have an Emmett son or Rosalie daughter?

HENRY: I like Rosalie daughter. I feel like she’s misunderstood.

RUSSELL: She is misunderstood. Her background was kind of sad. She can’t have a kid, so—

HENRY: But then I liked her after. She redeemed herself.

RUSSELL: She’s just a misunderstood woman.

DWIHARTANA:  If you were Jane, who would you wish pain on?

RUSSELL: Oh. My ex.

HENRY: Fuck him, yeah.

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THAIS TAVERAS, ASHLEY ARNAUD, & SECURITY GUARD

 

DWIHARTANA: So what happened?

THAIS TAVERAS: Basically we bought tickets off of StubHub two months ago. And when we came, I tried to activate it, but the tickets didn’t work.

DWIHARTANA: Oh, shit.

TAVERAS: So we went to the box office and we got them there.

DWIHARTANA: And how much were the fake ones?

TAVERAS: Bro, bank.

DWIHARTANA: Shit. Okay. So what’s your favorite song from the movie?

ASHLEY ARNAUD: It has to be… is it “Bella’s Lullaby,” when he’s playing on the piano?

DWIHARTANA: Yeah.

ARNAUD: And then I would say “Decode” by Paramore.

TAVERAS: Which is the one that goes, “Hoa hoa hoa…”? [Searches on Google] “Hoa hoa hoa Twilight song.”

DWIHARTANA: I know what you’re talking about.

TAVERAS: “Eyes on Fire.” 

DWIHARTANA: Ooh, they’re telling us to get out.

ARNAUD: Okay, real quick.

SECURITY GUARD: Why doesn’t she love Jacob? Goddamn it.

ARNAUD: He’s a thug.

SECURITY GUARD: Goddamn. Why? He’s a childhood friend. Eddie almost got her killed twice. Goddamn.

TAVERAS: Edward is done! That boy.

SECURITY GUARD: [Laughs] Have a good night, guys. Take care. 

DWIHARTANA: Thank you, you too. Okay, if you guys had Jane’s abilities, who would you wish pain on?

ARNAUD: Ex-boyfriend, for sure.

TAVERAS: No, literally.

DWIHARTANA: Alright, last question. What’s a hot take?

TAVERAS: Well, I heard that Bella and Edward’s dad had a thing on set, a vibe. I don’t know. The whole lore is on TikTok.

DWIHARTANA: Oh, really?

ARNAUD: Remember when in New Moon where he was cleaning up her wounds when she got hurt on her birthday? They had a connection.

TAVERAS: Apparently there was tension.

ARNAUD: They had some sort of chemistry. Yes.

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CHARLENE LIEBERMAN & JULIA LIEBERMAN

 

DWIHARTANA: What brings you guys here tonight?

CHARLENE LIEBERMAN: I’m a super Twilight fan.

JULIA LIEBERMAN: This was my first time seeing it.

DWIHARTANA: Oh, really? So you’re taking her Twilight virginity right now?

CHARLENE: [Laughs] Yes.

DWIHARTANA: What’s a hot take?

CHARLENE LIEBERMAN: Oh, gosh. Okay, maybe this isn’t that hot of a take, but Jacob falling in love with a baby? It’s so whack.

JULIA: That was a comedy, man.

DWIHARTANA: Do you guys have anything to confess?

CHARLENE: I often imagine my life if I was a vampire in the Twilight life.

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] No, me too. I used to play freeze tag in elementary school and I think that I’m Bella in Breaking Dawn Part 2. I feel like I run faster when I imagine myself as her.

CHARLENE: [Laughs] Yes, yes! Wait, I totally get what you mean.

DWIHARTANA: What’s your favorite song from the soundtracks?

CHARLENE: I love “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” by Iron & Wine and “Decode” by Paramore.

DWIHARTANA: Period. Staple.

CHARLENE: Yeah. But “Possibility” by Lykke Li from the second movie, so good. That’s cinematic history.

DWIHARTANA: Which movie is your favorite movie?

CHARLENE: Oh, I love New Moon. It’s the best.

DWIHARTANA: Would you rather have an Emmett son or a Rosalie daughter?

CHARLENE: Oh, Rosalie daughter.

DWIHARTANA: Wait, why?

CHARLENE: She’s just so girlhood. She is girlhood. It’s like being a mother to such a girl, oh gosh.

DWIHARTANA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were Jane, who would you wish pain on?

CHARLENE: Oh my gosh. So many people. All the ops.

DWIHARTANA: Specifics, specifics.

CHARLENE: My ex. Where’s he at?

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] Okay. You?

JULIA: My professor tomorrow.

CHARLENE: Oh.

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MICHELLE & DIANA

 

DWIHARTANA: What was your favorite song? Favorite moment?

MICHELLE: Favorite song has to be “Bella’s Lullaby” and then “Supermassive Black Hole” by Muse.

DIANA: I agree with that statement. The whole baseball scene, it’s my favorite. Favorite song, there’s so many to choose from. I want to say the last song of the movie when they’re dancing at prom, “Flightless Bird, American Mouth.” It’s always a classic.

DWIHARTANA: What’s a hot take?

DIANA: It’s not really a hot take, but we all know the dads are fun.

MICHELLE: The dads are definitely a favorite.

DWIHARTANA: Would you rather have an EJ son or a Renesmee daughter?

MICHELLE: Renesmee daughter. That EJ son thing is crazy.

DIANA: He’s not for me.

MICHELLE: She was like, “If it’s a son, it’s EJ.” What?

DIANA: I’ll take the Loch Ness monster.

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] Okay. Emmett son or Rosalie daughter?

MICHELLE: Emmett. I think it’s because he gives big brother vibes to Bella. I love Rosalie, but as a kid, you’d want someone that’s protective like Emmett.

DIANA: Same.

DWIHARTANA: Are there memories with the franchise that you guys want to share?

MICHELLE: My mom watching the movie and me sitting at the kitchen table, side-eyeing, because I was not supposed to be watching. [Laughs]

DWIHARTANA: [Laughs] So your mom was the OG Twi-Hard and she passed it down to you.

MICHELLE: Yes. She loves Jacob. She’s like, “If I had a son, I would name him Jacob.” I got a kitten recently and she wanted to name it Jacob.

DIANA: [Laughs] Oh my god. I am in a very religious household and Twilight was not a number-one thing, but I remember one of my cousins was like, “We’re going to go watch Twilight.” And I told my mom and she was like, “Oh, no, no, no, no, we can’t.” And then one of my older cousins was just like, “Oh no, we’re just going to go chill down in the basement.” And then I remember the first time I ever saw it, I got so scared in that whole ballet scene that my mom was like, “You see, this is why you don’t watch it.” But then I was like, “Well, I actually liked it.” [Laughs]

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