Name: Dustin Milligan
Hometown: Yellowknife, NT, Canada
What's your greatest fear? I have this recurring nightmare where I'm giving a speech in front of my old high school classmates, and they start laughing at me, and I look down and realize I'm naked. And a shark.
If you could sic a shark on anyone in the world, who would it be? Any illegal shark fisherman (or woman).
Do you have any special shark-fighting methods? I prefer the "Compliment Sandwich" method, where I attack and confuse their cocky shark-egos by "sandwiching" an insult between compliments, like this: "Hey, Shark, you're really good at being terrifying; however, your not-eating-me-skills are severely lacking. Oh, my God, I love your fins—have you had work done?"
What about tips for innocent vacationers who want to avoid getting devoured? Avoid fish-print swimwear, and water.
If the Jaws shark had to go up against a shark in Shark Night 3D, who do you think would win? Our sharks are, like, the hormonal teen-shark offspring of the Jaws shark: out late at night, eating greasy American food, and full of enough youthful energy to kick the Jaws shark's ass... Tail... Ass-tail.
What's your favorite scary movie? The Shining, because it gave hope to little boys everywhere whose fingers told them about backwards murder. But I hear The Innkeepers is so good, it might take top spot when it's released!
What else do you have coming up? Really excited about my new indie improv dramedy Sisters & Brothers, as well as my first animated feature, Sarila.
FILM STILL COURTESY OF STEVE DIETL