eric schwartau

Talk Hole: The Hole Damn Year

December 22, 2021

“Caitlyn Jenner lost her governor’s race, Bennifer got back together, IKEA launched a bisexual couch, we freed Britney, and Kim Kardashian passed the bar.”

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Talk Hole: Supply Chain Me Daddy

November 16, 2021

“I’m pretty sure we are in a conservatorship with Interview.”

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Talk Hole: Pride & Prejudice

June 22, 2021

“I can’t be the only one seeing dollar signs here.”

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Talk Hole: White Hole Summer

April 29, 2021

The masks are off, the mayoral race is on.

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Talk Hole: Of Dogs and Men

April 9, 2021

All talk, no bite.

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Talk Hole: Can’t Get You Out of My Hole

February 25, 2021

On Adam Curtis, Scandinavian furniture, and the end of ideas.

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Live from Bushwick, It’s Two Gay Guys Splitting a Salad

October 6, 2020

As COVID returns to the White House, our columnists return to IRL column-ing. On the table: hard kombucha, hard work, and harder interruptions.

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Talk Hole: Cuties, Crypts, and Chris Evans

September 21, 2020

Live from the city of columns.

TALK HOLE

Talk Hole: AOC’s Telfar, Tulsi Tattoos, and Trumptana

August 28, 2020

The only convention recap you’ve been waiting for.

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TALK HOLE: WET ASS AMERICAN SUMMER

August 14, 2020

WAP, PUA, and COVID.

Talk Hole: The Tara Reid Tell-All

July 24, 2020

Tara Reid (no, not that one) joins the column to talk Biden, boyfriends, and booking movie roles via LinkedIn.

Talk Hole: The Karen Kolumn

July 10, 2020

Our columnists take a trip to Karenland—and kancel the kops.

Talk Hole: Alison Roman, Nancy Pelosi, and Everyone But James Charles Get Canceled

May 21, 2020

It’s always hydroxychloroquine and never hydrochloro-King. Think about that.

Talk Hole: Baby Grimes, Britney’s Blazed Gym, and the Last Girls of J.Crew

May 8, 2020

“Britney’s gym is the new Schrödinger’s cat.”

Talk Hole: Fetching the Bolt Cutters with Martha Stewart’s Detainees

April 23, 2020

“My couch is literally Barbados now.”

Talk Hole: Goodbye Bernie, Zoom Birthdays, and Essential Boyfriends

April 9, 2020

“Busy is over. Emotional distress is in.”

Talk Hole: Zooming Through the Quarantine with Jeremy O. Harris

March 26, 2020

Our columnists host a very intimate Zoom chat with the playwright Jeremy O. Harris.

Talk Hole in Quarantine: Sex, Drones, and Social Distancing

March 12, 2020

“There’s actually something quite intrinsically capitalist about a quarantine. Get my Thai food and fuck everyone else.”

Talk Hole: TikTok Suburbia, Swiss Heaven, and the Radical Sincerity of Goop

January 30, 2020

Talk Hole is the bi-weekly spoken column of New York’s alt-comedy darlings Eric Schwartau and Steven Phillips-Horst, touching on all corners of the zeitgeist (high, low, top, bottom).

Talk Hole: Closing Ceremony, Compulsory Voting, and A Return to Love

January 17, 2020

Talk Hole is the bi-weekly spoken column of New York’s alt-comedy darlings Eric Schwartau and Steven Phillips-Horst, touching on all corners of the zeitgeist (high, low, top, bottom).