Although she’s best known for the sitcom that bears her name—it ran for nine groundbreaking seasons and was the most-watched television series of 1989 and 1990—the Emmy-winning actress has also found time to do other things, such as operate a macadamia nut farm in Hawaii and run for president in 2012. As she gears up for Roseanne’s much-anticipated tenth season revival, the button-pushing comedian answers some questions from the writings of Warhol.
ANDY WARHOL: What did you have for breakfast?
ROSEANNE BARR: Coffee, eggs, tortillas, and my homemade hot sauce—the best in the world.
WARHOL: What was your first job?
BARR: I was a babysitter and a kindergarten camp counselor. I like little kids. They’re on my intellectual level.
WARHOL: When do you get nervous?
BARR: For starters, when the word “nervous” comes up.
WARHOL: What are your beauty secrets?
BARR: If I told you, the secrets would be out. Everybody would be beautiful, and then nobody would be beautiful.
WARHOL: Is there anything you regret not doing?
BARR: Eating more cake.
WARHOL: What is your greatest fear?
BARR: Having to listen to blowhards yap so I can get a job.
WARHOL: Do you go out at night?
BARR: Now and then, for a nice meal — occasionally for a few drinks and some raucous dancing, especially if there’s live music I can relate to.
WARHOL: Do you dream?
BARR: I dream — no shit — about bombing in front of an audience or flying over people’s heads as they look up at me in shock.
WARHOL: Do you feel frustrated with the way things are now between men and women?
BARR: No, but I am frustrated with the way things are between women and other women. It never seems to get better — we’re always at each other’s throats.
WARHOL: Why can’t it just be magic all the time?
BARR: Then it wouldn’t be magic, would it?
WARHOL: What are you most proud of?
BARR: My humility.