APPROPRIATION

Meg Yates Does Richard Kern Her Way

Kernz Girls

Shoes by Miu Miu.

For our Winter 2021 issue, the photographer and stylist Meg Yates pays tribute to Richard Kern. Meet her girls.

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WINNIE

Name: Winnie

Age: 23

Where do you live? Bushwick.

How many hours of real work do you do? Like at my shitty job? 25 hours a weekish in the winter because bars are slow.

How much do you sleep? I usually stay up until 4 or 5 and wake up around noon.

Do you have nightmares? Yeah I get lots of bad dreams. Sometimes they’re super fucked up. Lately they often have something to do with an airplane. Sometimes I actually wake myself up from shouting out of fear while I sleep! Very unsettling. Needed to smoke some weed.

What scares you more, death or poverty? I’m already quite broke now and it’s pretty terrifying but mostly just boring and un-cozy because I want to buy a fuzzy winter blanket and I can’t even afford that right now. But death doesn’t scare me either. The scariest thing is BOREDOM.

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Once in Texas. Yee-haw.

What was the last thing you stole? Recently I was walking by this super fancy apartment that looks all cube-ish and I stole an Amazon package from the step. I’ve always wanted to steal a package because it seems so exciting and you have no idea what you’ll get, but also you know they’ll just get a new one sent so it’s a win-win really. Anyways, I finally did it, and inside was a big bottle of lube.

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CAT

Kernz Girls

Bra by Calvin Klein. Briefs by Deborah Marquit.

Name: Cat

Age: 21

Where do you live? On Bowery.

How tall are you? 5’6″

What does your room smell like? Like cigarettes hahaha.

How many hours of real work do you do? I work 6-hour shifts almost every day at Spencer’s.

How much do you sleep? I sleep pretty often.

Do you have nightmares? Yes I have really vivid nightmares at times.

What’s in your system? Cigarettes and beer.

Whose approval matters? Definitely my approval matters most. I go by how I feel, think, and what I know is best for me.

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Earrings and Shoes by Prada.

Name: Nicky Zou

Age: Pass.

How do you deal with conflict? I raise my hackles and bare my fangs.

Describe the best gift you’ve ever received. $2K.

Who is the best dancer you know? Charli D’Amelio.

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Yeah.

What was the last thing you stole? $40.

Who was the last person you lied to? That 40 came from somewhere.

Which profession do you think is a scam? Writing.

Who do you admire most? Lao Tzu.

Have you ever had an affair? No, never wed.

Describe the last time you danced. I bounced up and down like a toddler.

How do you cure a headache? Take the correct dosage of Klonopin.

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MIKA KOL

Briefs Mika’s Own. Necklace (worn on head) by Dsquared2.

Name: Mika Kol

Age: 22

Where do you live? Lower Manhattan.

What’s your room smell like? Kebabs usually.

How many hours of real work do you do? 12?

What’s in your system? Currently bone marrow and a bit of steak.

Whose approval matters? My parents’ (they still give me money).

Describe your life in 8 words or less. Born of precum (jk).

Who makes you nervous? Mother.

Who do you admire most? Father.

How do you deal with conflict? I’m an extremely confrontational person but I don’t take anything that seriously. If it’s serious I hate the person basically forever.

How do you deal with fear? Shopping.

Which profession do you think is a sham? Activism.

Have you ever had an affair? Not exactly but I’ve done my share of “emotional cheating.”

Describe the best gift you’ve ever received. My parents bought me an apartment. It doesn’t get a lot of light and there’s a Murphy bed in the kitchen.

How do you cure a headache? I eat blueberries.

What would you eat for your last meal? Bone marrow.

What scares you more, death or poverty? Death! If poverty is that bad you can always kill yourself later!

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ANNIKA DALLAND

Briefs by Calvin Klein.

Name: Annika Dalland

Age: 20

Where do you live? New York fuckin’ City.

How tall are you? 6’2″, sometimes 6’3″.

What’s in your system? Everything bagel with cream cheese and lox, a classic New York slice, and Nyonya.

Whose approval matters? That lanky chick in the tub.

How do you deal with fear? I remind myself that most fears are irrational and the grass always gets greener.

What was the first thing you did this morning? Sat on the pot.

How do you deal with conflict? I look at intention and react accordingly.

Describe the best gift you’ve ever received. My folks bringing me up in N.Y.C.

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Negative. I love sweets but I don’t sugarcoat.

Which profession do you think is a sham? Forex trading.

Describe the last time you danced. Blasting “Fried Neck Bones And Some Home Fries” on my rechargeable speaker while half -naked making tortillas for carnitas. Was hot until the music was interrupted by my smoke alarm.

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RUBY MCCOLLISTER

Kernz Girls

Bra and Briefs by Deborah Marquit. Necklace by Saint Laurent by Anthony Vaccarello.

Name: Ruby McCollister

Age: Actress age.

Where do you live? Gramercy Park.

How tall are you? Actress height.

Do you have nightmares? Always, mostly about surgery and pregnancy. Dying to find a dream analyst!

What’s in your system? Caffeine. Adderall if I get it together to keep up my prescription. God.

Whose approval matters? My god, my producers, and my adoring fans.

What was the first thing you did this morning? I hazily dreamed of making out with Sandra Bernhard in a Parisian hotel circa 1997.

What does the winter remind you of ? The Great Depression. And sudden illness.

Who is the best dancer you know? Jake Levy.

Have you ever faked an orgasm? I believe it’s important to fake orgasms! Who says pretending isn’t actually real? Faking one is also a release! We have to get over orgasms.

Who was the last person you lied to? I lie constantly about completely benign things. No one deserves all of me.

Which profession do you think is a sham? Consulting! What the hell is that? Am I right?! Though I think I’d be fabulous at it…

Have you ever had an affair? Duh. It’s also a perfect pastime.

What do you do about global warming? Triggered to hell by this question. Soothe the child within me?!

How do you cure a headache? A sugar-free Red Bull.

What would you eat for your last meal? Shrimp cocktail and champagne with St-Germain.

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Makeup: Coco Campbell

Photography Assistant: Leander Capuozzo

Special Thanks: The Standard, East Village