It’s Magic All the Time at Patia’s Fantasy World
So there we are, watching a man stuff a toy horse with batting, vigorously and repeatedly, presumably while on the clock at a toy factory. We cut to a young man who looks intrigued. As his interest grows to desire, his nose grows into a grotesque muzzle and he morphs into a horse himself. (For some reason, he grows a Farrah Fawcett blowout in the process.) The most liked comment below this video is from the rapper Tyler, the Creator, who said, “this is one of the craziest things ive printed in my brain bro hahhahaha.” Such is an example of what one might find exploring, or rather scrolling, through @PatiasFantasyWorld, an Instagram meme account run by three friends, Patia Borja, Laina, and River Moon. Since their popularity has skyrocketed over the past year, we figured we’d invite them into our fantasy world, and ask them to answer a few questions from the writings of Andy Warhol.
ANDY WARHOL: What did you eat for breakfast?
LAINA: Crêpe complète and ginger lemonade.
PATIA: Pamplemousse La Croix and 20mg of Adderall.
RIVER: Avocado toast, six sunny-side–up eggs, and champagne.
WARHOL: What was your first job?
PATIA: Midtown dominatrix, 2010.
RIVER: I played a slave in a BBC documentary when I was 10.
WARHOL: Who was the nicest person you worked for?
LAINA: Forever fun employed, so no one.
RIVER: I simply do not work.
WARHOL: What’s your favorite movie?
LAINA: The Bad Seed.
PATIA:It’s a tie between Bring It On and Waiting to Exhale.
RIVER: Spirited Away.
WARHOL: Who are your favorite actors?
LAINA: Jamie Foxx.
PATIA: Sidney Poitier and Cicely Tyson.
WARHOL: Do you play an instrument?
PATIA: No, but I play games.
RIVER: I only play the piano.
WARHOL: Showers or baths?
LAINA: Baths with lots of salt.
PATIA: Showers at home, baths when I’m on staycation.
WARHOL: Do you dream?
LAINA: Every night, vividly.
PATIA: My life is one!
RIVER: Rarely. Whenever I do dream, I write it down because it happens so infrequently.
WARHOL: How many tubes of lipstick do you use a day?
LAINA: Just one.
PATIA: Lip gloss > lipstick.
RIVER: None. I’m a gloss or balm type of person. I do run through the Fenty glosses pretty fast.
WARHOL: When do you get nervous?
LAINA: Every time I’m at an after-party.
PATIA: Every time I’m at an after-party.
RIVER: Whenever I’m in malls.
WARHOL: What do you like in a person?
LAINA: They have to be able to make me laugh and be a whole character. I hate boring people.
PATIA: Individuality. People who don’t give a fuck.
RIVER: I like individuality. It’s how I know if you’re fab or not. Also, you have to be the same type of crazy and fun that I am. I love people who don’t take themselves too seriously. Let’s laugh a little, or a lot.
WARHOL: What do you think about love?
LAINA: I’m constantly falling in and out of love so I think it’s a rollercoaster.
PATIA: It is a necessity that everyone should have.
RIVER: I don’t think about it.
WARHOL: Why can’t it just be magic all the time?
LAINA: There is magic all the time!
PATIA: I feel like every moment is magical in some sense.
RIVER: It’s magic all the time at the Fantasy World, baby!
WARHOL: How many hotels have you been kicked out of?
LAINA: Just one! And banned.
PATIA: Zero. I’m a good girl.
RIVER: One. But it wasn’t my fault. My friends were being crazy on the second floor. Not even the penthouse. Bitches was wildin’ out on the second floor.
WARHOL: What’s the craziest thing a fan has ever sent you?
LAINA: A video of their partner ripping off their underwear and setting them on fire while listening to one of my mixes.
RIVER: This happens so often because I have the nastiest fans. Somebody sent a video of them getting fisted to one of my songs. I was disgusted, but also fascinated.
WARHOL: What do you do in your spare time?
LAINA: Harass my friends and learn Portuguese.
PATIA: Take care of my nanay; add things to my SSENSE shopping cart; build a bigger table, not a taller fence; and comfort my friends when a guy hasn’t texted them back in two minutes.
RIVER: I entertain people by posting dumb shit on the internet. And I make music for the insane.
WARHOL: What are you reading right now?
LAINA: The Stars Within You: A Modern Guide to Astrology, by Juliana McCarthy.
PATIA: Soul Survivors: The Official Autobiography of Destiny’s Child.
RIVER: The Bible.