Hari Nef reviews 7 of this season’s hottest shoes, and then some


Gucci, $1,590 “This shoe is like if Nick Offerman’s character on Parks and Recreation started hooking up with Polly Pocket and they did a sneaker collaboration together.”


Before stepping into the spotlight in the satirical teen thriller Assassination Nation, the model and actress Hari Nef reviews a few shoes.


Saint Laurent by Anthony Vaccarello,$695

“There’s something very noble about the bowling shoe. It has very little pretense, and it’s kind of naughty. You have to share them with a bunch of other people, which is so kinky in a way that I like. What other shoes would you actively share with other people? If anyone says that American socialism isn’t possible, point them toward the bowling shoe.”



Vetements x Swear, Price upon request

“I immediately think of Final Fantasy when I look at these. They make me feel grounded, like I could liberate a lost kingdom. They also kind of make me feel like the Michelin Man’s Instagram trap-goddess girlfriend. Like, I’m in the Michelin Man’s DMs trying to see if he’s going to be at Art Basel. Like, ‘I want my Michelin Man to take me to a three-star Michelin restaurant.’”


Balenciaga, $850

“I grew up in Boston, really close to the New Balance factory, and I feel like we’re sort of queering New Balance here. This is your standard-issue, fluorescent, athletic shoe, but pumped up on steroids. They’re so big that they make me feel dissociated from my feet a bit, almost like my feet are looking back up at me and judging me.”


Junya Watanabe, Comme des Garçons, $860 

“I could cry right now. Even just the texture of the laces reminds me of all the athletic programs that I was more or less coerced into as a kid. I never enjoyed sports, but if my cleats or whatever looked like this, I probably would have been more inclined. This just takes me back to middle school—athletic shoes by day, My Chemical Romance by night.”



“A pink sneaker is like walking down the street at five miles per hour with a Starbucks in your hand. Nobody is getting in your way. Pink is such a clear departure from the utilitarian nature of the sneaker. The latex reminds me of female-marketed sex-toy packaging, while the terry-cloth laces remind me of a bathrobe. It’s all very ‘I’m bored in my hotel room.’” (Available in pink, orange, yellow, green, white, and red.)


Versace, $1,350

“Oh my god, are these pony hairs? There is so much to process with these sneakers. I don’t know what to say about the animal print. I don’t know what to say about the laces. And I really don’t know what to say about the chain soles. It’s just Versace, so get into it! It’s like I’ve met a person who I am unexpectedly attracted to, and now I’m reconsidering my whole life.”