“The Bachelor’s Gay!”: In Bed With Lovebirds Gabby Windey and Robby Hoffman

When I got on Zoom with Robby Hoffman and Gabby Windey last week, they were beaming with that new couple glow. Physically entangled and finishing each other’s sentences, they’re L.A.’s most unlikely match made in heaven. Back in August 2023, the former The Bachelor and Bachelorette star—and current standout on the reality TV sensation The Traitors—surprised the world when she announced she’d fallen head over heels for the Brooklyn-born comedian after they met outside a bar. “I was never afraid of being outed or anything,” Windey explained. “I’ll try anything once—twice if I like it.” With Valentine’s day just around the corner, the lovebirds took me on a tour of the L.A. haunts where they fell in love and sounded off on paparazzi, PDA, and unwanted PR packages.

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SANDSTROM: I read that you guys recently moved in together.

WINDEY: Since August, but it feels brand new.

SANDSTROM: What’s the biggest compromise that you’ve each had to make?

WINDEY: Robby moved into my place and I didn’t realize how particular I could be and how much I was attached to my own things. The first thing she did was put up her Emmy, which I loved, but I thought it was going to stop there.

HOFFMAN: It’s a logistical challenge with the actual physical place that we’re in because there’s no storage. I guess some of these houses that they built a million years ago were during the depression era and people didn’t have things. There’s not an entryway closet, for instance.

WINDEY: You have a lot of shoes, baby.

HOFFMAN: Compared to you! We have to get a full external closet for her shoes.

WINDEY: I’ve been getting rid of so much. You have no idea.

HOFFMAN: Could you admit you had a lot of stuff?

WINDEY: [Shakes head] Capitalism in this country. I will say it’s a lot of PR boxes. So if you’re reading this–

HOFFMAN: Please stop sending.

WINDEY: I don’t want any PR. Send it to people who need it.

HOFFMAN: I don’t want your crewneck. I’m thrilled I worked on the show. I had such a great time voicing this, acting this. I’m crewnecked out. It’s not even personal. We love you.

WINDEY: We don’t need probiotic pajamas.

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IN BED

 

SANDSTROM: Let’s talk about the outfits. Is this how you guys are actually going to bed and waking up?

WINDEY: No. Well, I did wear a Skims set last night. Robby had a show and I wanted her to come home all sexy because she’s been out of town and I have to flaunt around for a second for her to notice.

HOFFMAN: That’s not true.

WINDEY: But normally I go to bed, it’s Porky Pig style, like a big shirt and no underwear. Or underwear if I’m on my period.

HOFFMAN: I just wear boxers.

WINDEY: We’re opposites.

SANDSTROM: I’m running forensics on this image. The pills on the right-hand side. Whose are they and what are they?

WINDEY: Those are my stabilizers of sorts. I think it’s probably Lamictal. What else? Gabapentin. There’s probably a Valium in there.

SANDSTROM: Fabulous.

WINDEY: Isn’t it? I’ve tried it all and this has been really great for me.

SANDSTROM: Robby, were you with Gabby when Traitors was being filmed. Did you get to go visit?

HOFFMAN: No, we had a weekly supervised phone call with the producer in the room.

SANDSTROM: Oh, like in prison.

HOFFMAN: Yeah. We had no communication. I was like, do I get to know if you landed in Ireland or not?

WINDEY: It’s Scotland, first of all. She always gets the wrong country.

HOFFMAN: It’s the same country at this point. We had a supervised call where every week she just cried because it was so cold and there was nothing to eat, and the challenges were really hard. And we only had 10 minutes where I’d be like, “You fucking got this. You can do this.”

SANDSTROM: So the distance made your relationship stronger?

WINDEY: Oh my god, so much stronger. She was the only thing really that got me through. She sent me off with this Jewish prayer card, and it starts out with calling in the Lord. And I said it every night just to feel connected to her and to obviously pray for success.

HOFFMAN: The prayer is very basic. It’s called the Shema, and Shema means “To hear.” It’s one very short sentence and it’s just “Hear me.” And then you say basically what you want.

SANDSTROM: Wait, Gabby, are you Jewish?

WINDEY: No, but we talk about converting. I say I will over Zoom.

SANDSTROM: Do you guys talk about marriage and kids?

WINDEY: We don’t want kids.

HOFFMAN: No kids! This is my baby and I’m her baby. We’re taking a page from the gays: Double income, no kids.

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THE MOVIES

 

SANDSTROM: Where did you first meet and what happened?

WINDEY: We met outside of a bar. It was a lesbian night at Semi-Tropic. I was still exploring my sexuality, and I had one bisexual friend who was like, “Let’s go to some events, spread your wings, meet people.” And her girlfriend was a fan of Robby’s comedy, and we were on the way out and Robby was like, “What’s going on?” She had kind of noticed me from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and all she kept saying was “The Bachelor’s gay!” I was so confused. But Robby has mad game, as you can imagine, so I was hooked, lined and sinkered.

SANDSTROM: Can you tell us a bit about switching lanes?

WINDEY: I’ve always had an intuition. I think just being a woman and being a nurse and having a very traumatic upbringing gives you that. I was never afraid of being outed or anything. I’ll try anything once—twice if I like it. And I feel like I’m so blessed with exploring my sexuality, because Robby and I met so early and it just solidified things. I had such a good partner to kind of show me the ropes and lesbian culture and just be really patient with me. People were like, “Some lesbians don’t like to date baby gays, they’re too afraid.” But Robby never says no to a challenge.

HOFFMAN: It wasn’t a challenge. We clicked right away. She has to get the gab for real. She talks, she throws it back. As hot as she is, she doesn’t need to be as funny and as smart as she is.

SANDSTROM: So this was a love at first sight situation?

HOFFMAN: For sure.

WINDEY: Looking back, I feel like my heart was pulling me towards her. I just never had to second guess anything.

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THE COMEDY STORE

 

SANDSTROM: I have a question that feels crazy obvious at this point. How do the two of you feel about PDA?

WINDEY: We were PDA like from the beginning to the point where I was like, “Do we need to be careful? Are you comfortable with other people knowing?” We would go to lesbian line dancing and I was starting to get recognized and she sometimes would be like, “No gay shit.”

HOFFMAN: I didn’t want it to be my fault. People are going to find out she’s gay, and it’s my fault. I knew they would come for the Jew and I didn’t want it to be a problem for her.

WINDEY: With that being said, we did not ever hold any PDA back.

HOFFMAN: It was hard to hold back.

WINDEY: Even now, we’re both just really touchy people. It’s just who we are.

HOFFMAN: I’m not touchy with nobody else.

WINDEY: Well, I hope not…

HOFFMAN: People I think are surprised to see me so touchy, but we love to flirt.

SANDSTROM: You guys should have your own show.

HOFFMAN: Or a megaphone.

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TAKEOUT

 

SANDSTROM: Are you guys a big cooking couple?

HOFFMAN: She cooks.

WINDEY: In the beginning I cooked a lot because I do love to cook, but then I found out Robby has a very specific palette.

SANDSTROM: How would you describe that?

WINDEY: Other people have described it as “Depression era.” So just meat and potatoes. I like to make these Korean pancakes that she absolutely hates.

HOFFMAN: That’s the one thing I don’t like.

WINDEY: I also make a spicy rigatoni that she says she loves.

HOFFMAN: Love that.

WINDEY: But every time I make it, she finds a reason not to have it.

HOFFMAN: She literally–

WINDEY: No, every time, babe. No.

HOFFMAN: This is gaslighting.

WINDEY: But we do take out a lot because we’re so busy. So we love just taking out, watching TV or a movie, getting high and cuddling.

HOFFMAN: Yeah, and we love to go for dinner together. We love dates. We don’t even do date night. We’re dating all the time–

WINDEY: All the time.

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CANTERS DELI

 

SANDSTROM: How will you be spending Valentine’s Day?

WINDEY: We are going to have a romantic week in New York, so my publicist helped us make a reservation at Carbone. We spent it at Canter’s last year.

HOFFMAN: No, we were at Katz’s. She’s very new to Jewish deli. Loves Matzah ball soup.

WINDEY: But I cannot do a pastrami sandwich. Thank God we’re getting out of the Katz’s. Sorry, no offense.

HOFFMAN: We can’t tell people we’re going to Carbone.

WINDEY: No, let everyone know. We’re going to call the paparazzi anyway.

SANDSTROM: Have you called the paparazzi on yourself before?

WINDEY: No. It was my publicist’s recommendation. Every time you see paparazzi, people need to know that they’re calling it on themselves.

HOFFMAN: Do you have the number? She needs the number.

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ROBBY’S COUNTRY HOUSE

 

SANDSTROM: Tell me about this picture. What’s going on right here?

WINDEY: We’re at Robby’s country house.

HOFFMAN: I have a little writer’s cabin in the mountains.

WINDEY: And this is how I like to spend my time there.

HOFFMAN: It’s always been my dream to have a house. Two years ago, I was able to buy a little house in the mountains where I can kind of drift away, but there’s so much I got to be raking and I got to be leaving clearance of four feet. And while I’m doing that, this is what’s happening with Gabby.

WINDEY: She’s a huge liability at the country house. I mean, she doesn’t believe in ladders. She’s like crawling on–

HOFFMAN: A ladder. That’s my next purchase.

WINDEY: She’s on the roof. She’s like, “Will you spot me?” I’m like, “I cannot watch you break your leg.” So this is me minding my business. She’s dedicated to a life of tinkering. It’s like a drug for her.

WINDEY: Whenever we go up Robby’s like, “This is Carrie in the country from Sex in the City.”

HOFFMAN: I showed her that episode. It was important.

WINDEY: I’m bringing outfits. So maybe we can take a picture with a Martini.

SANDSTROM: Okay, so you’re naked a lot and Robby, you’re not, because you’re tinkering with things on the land?

HOFFMAN: Literally. But she’s always acclimating to the country. There could be mosquitoes, there could be animals.

WINDEY: We did see a bear last time.

HOFFMAN: She didn’t love that.

WINDEY: But I take my dog up. I have a dog who may or may not be useless, but if the bear comes close enough, the dog will bark.

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ELYSIAN PARK

 

SANDSTROM: Do you guys have a co-parenting thing going on with the dog? 

HOFFMAN: Her son and I have a cat, my daughter.

WINDEY: Yeah, we like to keep things separate, but this is Elysian Park, and we do take the dog for–

HOFFMAN: A walk.

WINDEY: Especially in the spring and summer. We try and do Elysian.

HOFFMAN: One of the worst walkers on the planet. He walks in a zigzag almost.

WINDEY: It’s like walking an alligator, but it wears him out. And if there’s coyotes, he’ll do his best.

SANDSTROM: That’s not nothing.

WINDEY: Right. And I walk in a cheetah print onesie, if you’re wondering. And a full face of makeup. I try and show out for Elysian.

HOFFMAN: And I’m all over this all the time. That’s why I was worried early on that I might out her, and then I might have some guilt that people are mad that she’s gay and I wasn’t sure, but Bachelor Nation has embraced us. I really wasn’t expecting it.

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HIGHLAND PARK FLORIST

 

WINDEY: One of the things told me early on was, “I might not look like it, but I love flowers.” So now we really try and get each other flowers all the time.

HOFFMAN: And this is the best flower shop in Highland Park.

WINDEY: Locally owned, really well-priced–

HOFFMAN: And really well curated. They really know how to put a bouquet together, which is what you want. 

SANDSTROM: Gabby, if Robby had been on the show, do you think she would’ve been a faithful? 

WINDEY: We talk about this a lot, because if you’re too loud, you get kicked off first. I think she probably would’ve been a faithful, because I think she’d be too much of a liability as a traitor. And she’s a contrarian. So anything that one person says, she will immediately say the opposite with maybe not a lot of credibility behind it. So she just likes to talk, which can really get you in trouble. Sometimes we’re watching and she’d be like, “Well, I do this.” And I’m like, “Well, that put a target on your back.” 

HOFFMAN: I have strong convictions.

WINDEY: She’s not very strategic, and she cannot keep a secret. For being a girl and being in a lesbian relationship, you think that you’ll be able to gossip. 

HOFFMAN: Babe.

WINDEY: She’s a Sagittarius, and sometimes I feel like they cannot read the room.

HOFFMAN: I’m not the news, I’m a clown. I do think of all the players I’ve seen on The Traitors this season. I relate most to–

WINDEY: Bob the Drag Queen. I had never met somebody like Robby before, except for him. 

HOFFMAN: What about the physical challenges?

WINDEY: You would’ve been fine. You’re going to the gym like, three times a week.

HOFFMAN: I’ve been going to the gym for three months. It’s been excellent.

SANDSTROM: Do you guys want to sign off with your best dating advice?

WINDEY: I was single for so long, and you get down on yourself. You’re like, “Am I ever going to meet someone?” And then you meet the love of your life. It’s meant to happen for everybody. And then you forget about all the hard things that you’ve been through and now we have the rest of our lives to look forward to.

HOFFMAN: It feels really nice to meet at a more serious place. The world is so unsure, so the surer you can be in terms of being settled in a career, getting sleep at night–

WINDEY: You got to have your shit together.

HOFFMAN: It’s helpful. 

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Makeup: Akina Shimizu

Hair: Bradley Leake

Stylist: Ellie Burns and Sade Radfar