A Chat with the ‘Chief Love Officer’ Who Doesn’t Believe in True Love

Published March 21, 2019

Photo courtesy of Michelle Frankel

Michelle Frankel is a former attorney who decided to trade law for loveWith two matchmaking offices, one in New York and the other in New Jersey, Frankel plays cupid for worried parents trying to find love for their 30-year-old “kids,” and helps frustrated singles figure out what they’re really looking for. For our March Salad Pages, the current Chief Love Officer of NYCity Matchmaking told Interview what it’s like to find love online, and why she doesn’t believe in soulmates.

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MASCATELLO: Tell me how it all works.

FRANKEL: People are frustrated with their current scenario when they reach out to us, and the process starts with an initial consultation where we meet one-on-one to go over their history, their challenges, and what they’re looking for in a mate.

MASCATELLO: Are all of your clients ready for love?

FRANKEL: We get about ten parents a week calling us on behalf of their 30-year-old kids. Our first question to them is, “Is your child on board?” Because if this isn’t what they want, then their parents gifting them our services isn’t going to make a difference. They may think they know what they want — blonde hair, green eyes, speaks Russian — but that’s not necessarily going to get you to your goals because those people might not want to date you.

MASCATELLO: What do you think about dating apps and online services?

FRANKEL: I met my husband online, so I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t think you could meet someone online. The big problem with apps is that people have lost decency. It’s swipe, swipe, swipe. People get this rush from clicking, not from dating with the same respect as if their aunt said, “I want you to meet my neighbor.” Instead, they’re haphazard and callous, and they’ll ghost each other. Honestly, I was worried when these apps came out. But we’ve never been busier.

MASCATELLO: Do you think that people have, like, one true love?

FRANKEL: I don’t believe in the concept of soulmates, in the sense that there’s only one, which is kind of ironic because I’m a matchmaker, right? The notion that there’s only one person you’re meant to be with is just too hard to swallow.