RORSCHACH TEST

Bianca del Rio on Botox, “Big Foot,” and Drake’s Dick Pic

Bianca del Rio

Bianca del Rio, photographed by Shawn Vadella.

Comedian and former RuPaul’s Drag Race champion Bianca del Rio doesn’t get all the fuss about Stanley Cups. And she could care less about Drake’s recently leaked nudes. Don’t even get her started on the overuse of the term “mother,” which she believes has been misattributed to any number of undeserving celebrities. When she joined us last week to take the Rorschach Test, del Rio was armed with hot takes and her characteristically sharp tongue, which she’s currently taking on a 60-date stand-up tour called “Dead Inside,” kicking off last week in San Diego. To mark the occasion, we asked her to sound off on more than a dozen zeitgeist-y topics, from Nicki vs. Megan to Capote vs. the Swans.

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FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS

I have not watched it yet and I’m curious as to what side of Truman Capote they’re showing. I’ve read books on [him] and it’s not the prettiest picture. He was basically a little backstabbing bitch. And let’s be real, that’s most gays in general.

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STANLEY CUPS

“As a Hispanic individual, I don’t understand the appeal of a fucking plastic cup. What does this cup do? I don’t understand it. Unless there’s vodka in it, I’m not going to fight you for a cup.”

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NICKI VS. MEGAN

It’s triggering for me because, as a drag queen, I have a big foot. What the fuck is wrong with a big fucking foot? But let’s be real, these two have also got some big asses that they purchased, so I guess you need a big foot to balance your ass when you’re standing up.

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WICKED, THE MOVIE

“Well, how exciting that they’re making a movie. On the other hand, how annoying that they’re making a movie. There’s a lot going on. But I’m an old school faggot, so I live for production value. I want to see the wigs.”

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BOTOX

Look, I’m all about Botox. Because, first and foremost, there’s so many people that look horrible and could use a little lift. But it won’t fix everything.”

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“MOTHER”

I don’t know who stole what or where it came from, but it’s being used a little too freely nowadays. I’ve had a problem with people using ‘idol,’ ‘icon,’ and ‘legend,’ which they wore the fuck out for some useless second-rate drag queen. And now they’ve taken the term ‘mother’ and stuck it on everybody and everything.

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APPLE VISION PRO

Look, you’ve got to love a world that wants to create all of these things to take you out of this fucking world, like we don’t have enough problems as it is. No, not my thing.

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DRAKE’S DICK PIC

Good for him if he’s got a dick. Listen, Drake is not on my radar as someone that I want to fuck. And let’s be real here: he’s not the first man to show his dick. Was the dick impressive? Well, I didn’t see.

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TAYLOR SWIFT’S NEW ALBUM

Well, good on her. Look, she’s obviously got a team that is working overtime. First, she doesn’t acknowledge Celine Dion, which sends Twitter into an uproar. But before anybody could even get pissed, she’s already got a photo hugging Celine backstage. The devil works hard, but Taylor Swift’s people work fucking harder.

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VALENTINE’S DAY

Holidays, birthdays, none of that matters to me. I don’t get wrapped up in that type of fuckery. I don’t like compliments. I don’t like gifts. I prefer cash.

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GYPSY ROSE BLANCHARD

Oh, that’s the bitch that killed her mother, right? Well, only in America can you go and kill your mother, then come out of prison and be a celebrity. She got a little makeover, she even got married!

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MADDY MORPHOSIS

I met this queen in a dressing room in Nashville when I was doing a benefit, but I did not watch her season. I only knew of him as the “straight drag queen,” which of course got my antenna up. Pleasant individual. And that’s all I know.

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THEFT

If you just happen to swipe an eggplant and walk out with a flat-screen TV, I’m not mad at it. That’s what Walmart fucking deserves. Now, stealing someone’s material or stealing someone’s look, that I don’t agree with.

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