Interview

Apparently, women have begun altering the appearance of their nether regions plastic surgery in order to achieve an "improved" and "youthful" look. Not shockingly, recent studies have shown that this particular method of "streamlining" one's appearance is not as physically harmless as it seemed.

What does this have to do with music? It appears that flesh isn't the only thing that is often more than fine as is. Music is also altered and repackaged to the detriment of the careful listener's experience. Even with the artist's or band's consent and cooperation, the effect can be emasculating (or defeminizing, as the case may be).

I'm all for improving the records, if possible. The problem remastering almost invariably leaves albums just like plastic surgery victims ('"re-massacred?"). The age and vintage that gives the  music character is masked underneath attempts to force the sound to conform to contemporary trends. Take the recently remastered Joy Division albums: The dubby, isolated void created by original producer Martin Hannett is flattened. His revolutionary formula (rhythm section forward, guitar and vocals pushed back) is reversed to match the bands Joy Division stood as an alternative to, as well as the band's now countless imitators.

Updating all of the tracks digitally to today's standards often results in a louder and cleaner sound, but it is often more flat synthetic, as well. (See the Can and Kraftwerk reissues). A similar case is the remastering of the influential Gas albums by Wolfgang Voigt. Part of the magic of these records is their nearly imperceptible, womb-like, deep bass kick, which I've always found similar to the comforting sound of windshield wipers bumping across the glass during a storm. The remastered versions sport a much more defined, comparatively normal bass kick, something that might sound good in a club but which distracts from the lush, swirling layers of sound that surround the beat.
 
Take some time to listen and compare for yourself. It might not be apparent coming out of laptop speakers in a cubicle, but if you really want to test it, try it out at home on decent speakers (or at least decent headphones). I am not concerned with the endless repackaging and remastering of the Beatles back catalogue, but please, no more cleaver jobs of my personal favorites. Look to the reissued classics from Neu, Big Star, This Heat, Ike Yard, Monoton, and the recent Bauhaus reissues for examples of remastered music done right. And just say no to Michael Jackson/Meg Ryan/Jocelyn Wildentstein Tijuana face–or any other kind–lifts!

Future Days Can

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Yesterday, Oprah announced that The Oprah Winfrey show will end when her contract does, in 2011. This isn't exactly a surprise (the Queen of Daytime has long indicated that she would be unlikely to renew) and she isn't really abandoning us (she'll be launching her own network, the Oprah Winfrey Network, following her departure from the show), but that hasn't stopped people from becoming very upset. Below, a sampling from Twitter:

IAmCollette I'm happy to say, that I've met and shopped with Ms. Oprah Winfrey @ Neiman Marcus. I'm sure she's going to make 2010 unforgettable.

anniegoods Oprah! No!!! Who am I supposed to watch when I'm depressed or feeling ugly?! Ellen and I just aren't that close yet...

mmiddlebrook All ABC-affiliate general managers, please call suicide hotline to discuss Oprah's decision before jumping out the window.

Rob_Olson 2012 is for real, I'm freaking out. Oprah just announced she is ending her show in late 2011. Goodbye Earth.

KrystinByrne is choosing to ignore the @ Oprah announcement in the hope she will be on television forever

harlemsophy That Would Be The Hottest Shit Ever If Oprah Gave Out Polar Bears Ugggghhhhh I Want One

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Look out Comme des Garçons, there's a new numbered fragrance in town—and this one's numerical sequence makes sense. ODIN launches its house line of fragrances, beginning with three scents for this season. 01 is "Nomad," 02 is "Owari," and 03 is "Century." Owari, we suspect, is the most mysterious scent. Bring on Thor!

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"The most miserable, boring, long-winded pathetic pitch I had ever heard in my life," is how producer and screenwriter James Schamus describes his first meeting with director Ang Lee.

Their first meeting might have been a dud, but twenty years, eight movies, and a few Oscars later, the partnership has turned out to be one of the most successful in Hollywood.  Lee was equally effusive about their collaboration, explaining, "James is always part of the movie. I don't see him as producer or writer: He's a collaborator." Last night, the National Arts Club celebrated the duo by giving each a Lifetime Achievement Award. Sneaking in among certified club members were Sigourney Weaver and Christina Ricci, both of whom starred in 1997's Schamus-Lee collaboration, The Ice Storm.

Crowded into an alcove filled with wood carvings of angry lions, Weaver remembered her own first encounter with the honorees, which occurred on the birth of Schamus's second child: "So there Ang and I were and we were so shy I don't think we spoke for twenty minutes." They finally decided that The Ice Storm should be a comedy, and Lee let Weaver pick her part among the cast of characters. Ricci, only fifteen at the time of shooting, remembers to Lee and Schamus as forgiving parental figures. Playing in a film set in the 1970s, the actress had no idea why she was wearing a Nixon mask: "I think they both secretly knew I didn't do the homework."

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