The Joji Guide to Cereal

Published July 18, 2019

Photo by Jeaneen Lund.

Whether you know him as Filthy Frank, Pink Guy, or the creator of the Harlem Shake, chances are that you’re at least somewhat familiar with Joji by now. At the age of 26, George Miller, the Osaka-born and Brooklyn-based musician whose emotive blend of R&B and alternative punk has touched the hearts of sad bois everywhere, became the first Asian artist to reach number one in the Billboard Top R&B/Hip Hop charts. Just this month, he earned platinum status for his 2018 version of a power ballad, “Slow Dancing in the Dark.” His new single “Sanctuary” provides a soothing sound set to an intergalactic music video where a bowl of Lucky Charms can be seen overflowing as Joji stares longingly at a spoon. Currently, he is trapping himself in the studio, “working on new music—lots of new music—and giving myself sponge baths,” making his go-to meal none other than the classic bowl of cereal. “When I’m working, I always forget to eat. I have boxes of cereal and I just dip in. If it’s a fancy occasion, I’ll get the milk. ” Interview consulted the cereal savante for his ultimate guide to the most important meal of the day. Spoiler alert: he likes Raisin Bran.

———

FROOT LOOPS

“That’s the one with the toucan, right? Yeah, thumbs up. I love toucans. I feel like if I’m trying to go crazy, I’ll get the Froot Loops, because that shit will make me hyper and then maybe I can get to work.”

———

RAISIN BRAN

“This may come off as a surprise, but I actually enjoy Raisin Bran. I’m a wheat guy, you know what I mean? I like that wheat and that grain. And then you get a little bit of natural sweetener in the raisins, and I think that’s just a great combo.”

———

FRUITY PEBBLES

“The Flintstones Fruity Pebbles? That shit is scary. I feel like that’s just been made out of plastic. I’m not trying to start beef with Fruity Pebbles, but I’ve tasted it before. Although, I’ll admit, you know how you can melt marshmallows and you make a bar out of it? Those with Fruity Pebbles do taste good.”

———

LUCKY CHARMS

“I’m going to give it a thumbs up for innovation because they were the first to introduce marshmallows, and that’s pretty incredible. That’s the innovation to me.”

———

COOKIE CRISP

“Thumbs down. That stuff is weird. I had it once and the appeal is interesting, but I’m gonna have to give it a thumbs down because it gets soggy very quickly, and then I don’t like the idea that I’m eating a bunch of cookies in a tub of milk.”

———

GOLDEN GRAHAMS

“Kind of like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I would assume? Thumbs up. Cinnamon is always good.”

———

WEETABIX

“I fuck with Weetabix. That shit is pretty good. I put a little sugar on that. I love Wheat Thins—now that we’re talking about Weetabix, it’s the same stuff. But recently, I’ve been trying to go healthier, so I get Mini-Wheats. It’s already got the frosting on it.”

———

CAP’N CRUNCH

“I’ve actually not had much Cap’n Crunch. I’m a bit of a hipster so I’m not going to go straight for the Cap’n Crunch, but as a staple, that is the go-to. I’m going to give it a thumbs up.”

———

APPLE JACKS

“I’ve never actually tried Apple Jacks, because I’m not a huge fan of apple. But I actually should try those. Thanks for reminding me.”

———

CHEERIOS

“Cheerios are a big thumbs up for me. Especially the ones that are lightly coated in honey. Those are the ones that I’m usually digging into when I’m working. I feel like the tasteless ones are okay, but the honey definitely elevates it.”

———

REESE’S PUFFS

“Thumbs up because they leave a nice residue in the milk. Like a chocolate milk kind of vibe, with a hint of peanut butter. That’s the good stuff.”