Jordan Firstman Tries a New Impersonation: Earring Expert

Necklace and Earrings by Tiffany & Co.

Jordan Firstman, the writer, comedian, and self-crowned Stinky King has grown a devoted Instagram following for his “secrets” series, in which he responds to fan-submitted confessions that range from silly (“I feed my cat my earwax”) to NSFW (“My boyfriend used a single piece of raw corn to give me an orgasm. Neat!”). But it’s his impressions—of summer 2020, of banana bread’s publicist—that have made him a star. Which is why we invited him to try out an entirely new impersonation: earring expert.



Necklaces by Marlo Laz.

“This just went so viral that Katie Couric reposted it.”


BVLGARI, $4,050

Necklace by Bvlgari.

“To get to a place of simplicity and elegance, you have to go through the trenches.”


CLAIRE’S, $7.99

Necklaces (top to bottom) by Claire’s and Anna Kikue.

“We love mall gays.”



Necklaces by Beepy Bella.

“I would wear a diaper with these. I think I could pull off a big, big diaper and just a bunch of ’shroom jewelry.”



Necklace by Cartier Love.

“I would love to do an S&M comedy porn with these earrings.”



Necklace by Jacquie Aiche.

“It’s witch, but make it rich.”


KALLATI, $5,100

Necklace by D’Orazio.

“This earring is putting me in my emotions a little bit. It’s making me wonder, ‘Do I want to be called Baby Girl?’”



Necklaces (top to bottom) by Marlo Laz and Moschnino Couture.

“I’m that girl. I’m that boy. I’m that man. I’m that woman. I’m that grandma. I’m that aunt and uncle. In these, I’m that whole family, bitch.”



Necklace by Sapir Bachar.

“When you see these, you think Audrey Hepburn. You think Katharine Hepburn. You think Catherine Keener. You think Kenan Thompson. You think Emma Thompson. All the greats.”


TIFFANY & CO., $6,500

“This is the moment we’ve been waiting for: Jordan Firstman in Tiffany. And it fits her like a glove.”


Video Director: Caroline Gaimari

Fashion Assistant:  Bin X. Nguyen