The We Should All Be Mirandas Authors On Why Men Suck (Except Stanford Blatch)

Published December 10, 2019

Our culture loves an It Girl, from the man eater she-devil to the unapologetic gives-zero-fucks type. And of course, there’s the effortlessly chic Manolo-heeled princess who moves to New York in search of the two L’s: labels and love—also known as Sex and The City‘s Carrie Bradshaw. Although science tells us that every It Girl’s star must dull, Bradshaw—deliciously played by Sarah Jessica Parker—and her girl gang proved that the glamorous and often cringeworthy life of a fashion-obsessed sex columnist could entrance the entire world for, well, eternity. The HBO series inspired an entire generation to flock to our beloved city, with its over-the-top fashion (styled by Patricia Fields), fruity mixed drinks, and, of course, the sex. There is so much good fashion in SATC that our world needed a well-kept catalog of every outfit these four women—and their lovers and gay friends—wore during the show’s six season run. Queue Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni, the stylish minds behind @everyoutfitonsatc.

The lives of Fairless and Garroni have been “a quest to document every outfit of Sex and The City.” But beyond the clothes, the account serves as a shrine where fans of the show, old and new, are able to shamelessly show their love for the world of SATC. But Fairless and Garroni decided Carrie has had her moment, instead deciding to spotlight Miranda‚ the lawyer who was almost too self-sufficient, in their new book We Should All Be Mirandas. According to the authors, with the benefit of hindsight, SJP’s character has showed her flaws. (In all fairness, they were always there, just gorgeously covered up by John Galliano for Christian Dior). “In this era of insanity, adopting a Miranda attitude is the only way to survive, even if you have no idea who Miranda Hobbes is,” Garroni told Interview. We caught up with the chic minds behind @everyoutfitonsatc to get their takes on a plethora of semi-random topics, from neck massagers to Harry Styles, and of course, Cosmopolitans. Because not all heroes wear capes—but some do wear mismatched heels and tutus.

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BUCKET HATS

CHELSEA FAIRLESS: Bucket hats are having a major moment but I’m not about to hop on this bandwagon. They look cute on Miranda Hobbes, twinks, and rappers—but that’s about it.

LAUREN GARRONI: I’m still waiting for Balenciaga or Lil Yachty to style it over a windbreaker.

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MEN

FAIRLESS: I’m a lesbian so I don’t really get what all the fuss is about! Like Off-White and In-N-Out Burger, men are overrated. Although I do have a soft spot for my dad and, like, John Waters. JK, I love men! 

GARRONI: As the resident hetero of this dynamic, I’m constantly having to justify the purpose of men to Chelsea and so far I’ve got nothing. In our book, we break down the boyfriends of Sex and the City into common male archetypes of today. Unsurprising, The Berger AKA The Toxic Beta Bro is the one most girls have dated.

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HARRY STYLES’S GUCCI ROMPER FROM SNL

FAIRLESS: I’ve been actively avoiding all things One Direction for years, but even I have to concede that Harry Styles’s style icon status is indisputable. I like flamboyance in men’s fashion and he carries it off well. He is chic.

GARRONI: I’m into it. He brings a dandyism to the male genre of pop not seen since Adam Ant. We have no choice but to stan.

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THE CARRIE DIARIES

FAIRLESS: I’ve never seen it! Mostly because I have yet to hear someone try to convince me that it’s a good show. Although I’m intrigued because Eric Daman, who worked with Pat Field on Sex and the City, did all the costumes.

GARRONI: We’ve chosen to be excluded from this narrative.

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SEX AND THE CITY 2

FAIRLESS: I wish I could say that I loved it, but this film is objectively awful. It doesn’t even succeed on a camp level, despite the inclusion of Liza Minnelli. Also, when you see Kim Cattrall screaming “I have sex” in the middle of an Abu Dhabi market you can see part of her dying. 

GARRONI: Are we were sure Kim didn’t die when she had to say “Lawrence of my labia?!” We truly don’t even know where to begin with this film. I would have rathered two hours of Carrie reading from her books Menhattan and I Do, Do I?

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK

FAIRLESS: Reality shows are a huge blind spot for me so I haven’t seen many episodes of RHONY. Although Lauren and I are convinced that Candace Bushnell should be a cast member.

GARRONI: I am ride or die with Bethanny. I stopped watching when she left, came back to the franchise when she returned, and am thoroughly conflicted by her second departure. Who am I kidding?! I’ll be watching next season. RHONY is just unscripted Sex and the City. Ramona is Samantha, Bethanny is Miranda, Carol is Carrie, Sonya is Charlotte…and LuAnn is Lexi Featherston

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JUSTIN THEROUX

FAIRLESS: A true Sex and the City legend! He played not one, but two of Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriends. And they were only a season apart! 

GARRONI: What a lost opportunity to not have him come back in the second film as yet another potential love interest for Carrie.

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NECK MASSAGERS

FAIRLESS: I would rather buy an actual vibrator from a sex store than try to repurpose a neck massager from the Sharper Image—rest in power.

GARRONI: In the ‘90s my mother had an actual neck massager, which was this box-shaped contraption that you would lay your neck in between these two rotating balls. That was great, however, any handheld neck massager is a vibrator in disguise. I believe the Sharper Image would still be in business if they had just admitted this fact.

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STANFORD BLATCH

FAIRLESS: Stanford is an underrated style icon and one of the best characters on the show. I really think that he should have been a full-fledged member of the Sex and the City squad instead of Carrie’s sidekick.

GARRONI: Maybe the most tragic part of Sex and the City 2 is Stanford being married off to Anthony. He deserved the most and got the least, but we’ll always remember him for his wonderfully colorful ensembles. 

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MISMATCHED HEELS

FAIRLESS: I love a mismatched shoe. We’re actually doing a partnership with Sarah Jessica Parker’s shoe line SJP Collection, which is coming out this spring. The sandals are mismatched and very cute.

GARRONI: Who doesn’t love a mismatched heel? It’s so rare to see in the wild since no brand makes mismatched heels and few have the stamina to do it themselves. So very excited SJP Collection is making our early-aughts dreams come true.

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FILA DISRUPTOR SNEAKERS

FAIRLESS: In the words of Antony Marentino, “HATES IT!” These shoes are an abomination.

GARRONI: It’s not quite a platform yet it’s not functional like a sneaker… so what is its purpose? Just because you can make an ugly shoe doesn’t mean you should.

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COSMOPOLITANS

FAIRLESS: We’ve served cosmopolitans at almost all our live events and honesty, they are fabulous. Cosmos are so synonymous with basic bitch bachelorette party culture that it’s easy to overlook the fact that they are still a legitimately good drink. 

GARRONI: I don’t know, I think we’ve all fallen asleep on the Cosmo since the show went off the air. Basic bitches moved on to, like, skinny girl margaritas and bottomless mimosas, but we shouldn’t forget about the little pink drink known as a Cosmopolitan. We have a recipe in our book that is to die for.

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DIOR SADDLE BAG (THE NEW ONE!)

FAIRLESS: I’m not generally a fan of Dior these days but I’m glad that they brought back the saddlebag. It’s a classic, although I really hate the wide, embellished bag straps that they keep pairing them with on the runway and in the ad campaigns. Like, who wants to wear a glorified guitar strap with a saddle bag?

GARRONI: If we’re going to exist in this early-aughts nostalgia K-hole, I’m glad brands are reissuing fan favorites. Although the social media rollout of the bag where 7,200 influencers posted themselves with the bag at the same time killed the “cool” factor. Carrie Bradshaw would never.

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ABSOLUT VODKA

FAIRLESS: Their ad campaigns in the ‘90s had a profound effect on me, especially the Versace one with Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell shot by Herb Ritts. So I will always have a soft spot for Absolut, although these days I prefer Ketel One.

 GARRONI: I feel Absolut was the entry point for most millennial vodka drinkers. We came for the themed advertising but abandoned the brand for better vodka like Tito’s. Sorry, Absolut. I do like their new ads with Lizzo though.

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JENNIFER HUDSON IN THE CATS MOVIE

FAIRLESS: I’m still recovering from seeing Leona Lewis play that role in the Broadway revival of Cats, which was truly wild. That character is supposed to be an old street cat on the verge of death. I have no idea why they keep casting young women in that role. Honestly, Susan Boyle was robbed.

GARRONI: We truly live in the darkest timeline. I want to believe Cats is Tom Hooper’s scathing indictment on the uncanny valley and a warning about our increasing reliance on CGI to craft performances. But Jennifer Hudson’s appearance is most likely the result of an overworked post-production house who just can’t even anymore. 

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POST-IT NOTES

FAIRLESS: Post-its play a crucial role in Sex and the City and Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, so I have no choice but to stan.

GARRONI: They are truly a lifestyle for me. I have Post-its all over my place because sometimes the notes app just won’t do. Although I’ve yet to break up with someone using one.