Gossip Girl Returns: The Rap


Remember the time that Chuck’s dad died in a mysterious, nonsensical car accident? When Serena jetted to Argentina with her goateed lover (obv), and Blair foolishly dropped the L-bomb before being ruthlessly ditched? Or any and all of the goings-on of Nate and his harem of excessively be-eyelinered Brooklyn girls? Me neither: The last episode of Gossip Girl was, like, a million years ago. New York’s favorite teen drama returns tonight, and if CWtv.com is to be believed, the episode will feature catfights galore, a Daughter of the Revolution-inspired ladies club, and the hunt for a missing drunk. If that doesn’t scream Emmy, I don’t know what does.

To tide you over until the late hour of 8 PM (7 PM Central!), here is a bizarrely amazing Gossip Girl tribute rap, brought to you by Southern Mothers (ft. Matt Pearson), previously best known for their confusingly-accented homage to Olafur Eliasson. These kids obviously did their homework, as the song is obsessively annotated with GG references, which range from intricate plot summaries to obscure character name-dropping. In typical dude fashion, a fair number of said references also have to do with food and/or scatalogical-sounding body parts. Bonus points for sampling Rufus Humphrey’s fictitious but oft-performed one-hit wonder; that’s “Everytime” by Linkin Hawk, for the nostalgic young ladies in the audience.