OFF MENU

“Flick That Bean”: One Night in Times Square With Blizzy Mcguire

blizzy mcguire

Welcome to OFF MENU, a column where we gossip and gorge with our favorite NYC tastemakers. In the last edition, we dined out incendiary restaurant critics The VIP List. This time, we brought Blizzy McGuire, the professional Twitter troll and TikTok jester, to class it up in Times Square. If you’ve ever come across Christian Girl Autumn or yassified George Washington, you know Blizzy. The 23-year-old internet menace shitposted her way to the top over the past decade after job-hopping from Buffalo Exchange to Marc Jacobs, finally landing campaigns that let her become a full-time influencer (McGuire appeared in Charli XCX’s “360” video, which dropped earlier today, with a slew of other online it-girls). Ten days before getting bottom surgery, she linked up with our social editor at The Times Square EDITION’s Terrace and Outdoor Gardens to talk about famous eggs, gooners, RuPaul, furries, the state of New York gays, and life as a Long Island Italian legend.

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BLIZZY MCGUIRE: I haven’t been smoking cigarettes in the past few months because I have to get a vagina.

JULIAN RIBEIRO: When is that? 

MCGUIRE: It’s in 10 days, but I’m going to be dilating for months on end. I might run out of things to watch.

RIBEIRO: Were you on a waiting list?

MCGUIRE: Not even. I guess my doctor isn’t really booked like that. I guess she’s kind of underground. But I just went for the consult, and then you had to get six sessions of laser before, so I have a ring around my coochie.

RIBEIRO: There is one girl that a lot of people go to for laser in midtown, and she’s Russian and she’s crazy. It’s like 70 bucks or something and she just slays you down.

MCGUIRE: Is she the one that was on Nymphowars?

RIBEIRO: I’ve never listened to Nymphowars.

MCGUIRE: Oh, there’s this episode where they visit this woman who does laser and she’s talking about aliens.

RIBEIRO: Yes, it’s literally her. So you’re in a state of sobriety right now because you’re awaiting surgery, but after surgery you’re probably going to have to keep it chill for a little bit, right?

MCGUIRE: Yeah, that’s why the past two or three months I’ve been going out nonstop. I’ve just been getting so drunk and making out with so many gay men.

WAITRESS: How was that drink?

RIBEIRO: It’s great. It continues to be good.

MCGUIRE: She said tea.

RIBEIRO: I’d like the transcript to show that our waitress is mother.

MCGUIRE: Her name is tea. And she is tea, her body tea, her face is tea. She’s everything.

RIBEIRO: She is everything.

MCGUIRE: Oh, this looks good.

RIBEIRO: We’re eating Lioni burrata with green hummus, pistachios, and semolina cracker, and we got calamari tempura with tomato aioli. 

MCGUIRE: It looks mad fucking good.

RIBEIRO: First bite. This is the best cracker I’ve ever had.

MCGUIRE: You haven’t tried me yet.

RIBEIRO: We need a buzzer. It’s a shame we aren’t in a private room, so we could have a buzzer. The table next to us are like—

MCGUIRE: I know, it’s like a rich family.

RIBEIRO: It’s someone’s bat mitzvah and we’re—

MCGUIRE: And we’re at the bris.

RIBEIRO: Right.

MCGUIRE: The calamari is really good. I just love calamari. Legendary, legendary.

RIBEIRO: What is the state of gay men in New York right now? I have a lot of thoughts.

MCGUIRE: It’s weird. They’re almost giving straight in a way.

RIBEIRO: There’s always a weird meta of being a gay guy, but right now it’s being buff, tank top, cargo pants.

MCGUIRE: Yeah.

RIBEIRO: Everyone’s also muscular as hell because steroids are cheap. If you’re a gay guy, it’s more of a matter of what level of cycle versus if.

MCGUIRE: Yeah.

RIBEIRO: Live your truth, but your balls are going to look crazy in 20 years.

MCGUIRE: My dad is a bodybuilder.

RIBEIRO: So is mine.

MCGUIRE: Really? Does he do roids?

RIBEIRO: No.

MCGUIRE: My dad does.

RIBEIRO: You know what would really give?

MCGUIRE: If I was a roid queen?

RIBEIRO: Well, my dad is famously a little fierce.

MCGUIRE: He’s a little gay?

RIBEIRO: A little. In a great way.

MCGUIRE: No way.

RIBEIRO: Like father, like son. We’re masc kings.

MCGUIRE: Do you have a straight boy clique?

RIBEIRO: Yeah, I’m not really friends with many gay men at all. But this weekend I carried with a fabulous gay man, Jack Powers, who is very sweet. 

MCGUIRE: Carry Bradshaw.

RIBEIRO: Where are we at with the entrees? 

MCGUIRE: I don’t want to be that bitch but I want to try the king crab tagliatelle. It’s pasta with cherry pepper, vermouth and fennel breadcrumbs.

RIBEIRO: What’s the ambiance giving? It’s like being in a really chic Rainforest Cafe. It’s like Rainforest Cafe for people who buy coke and drive limos.

MCGUIRE: You’re so right.

RIBEIRO: Where are you from?

MCGUIRE: I’m from Long Island. I started going to FIT in 2018 and I’ve been here almost ever since. My mom moved to Vermont when I was 16 so I would bounce between her place and my dad’s place.

RIBEIRO: Where in Vermont? I just went to Vermont and had a really lovely time. I’m from upstate. 

MCGUIRE: Where, Bing?

RIBEIRO: Yeah. Are you joking? I’m from Binghamton.

MCGUIRE: Wow.

RIBEIRO: Did you just clock my tea? Insane tea clock that I’m from Binghamton, New York.

MCGUIRE: I was going to say you’re mad Wegmans.

RIBEIRO: I literally am. Are there are no Wegmans on Long Island?

MCGUIRE: No. I only know Wegmans because I went to Corning on a field trip. The Glass Museum.

RIBEIRO: Yes, the Corning Glass Museum. Let’s give her her flowers right now.

MCGUIRE: Mama, she ate. I went there on an art field trip and we had to blow glass and you know I blew it good.

RIBEIRO: What did you go to school for?

MCGUIRE: I was going to school for fashion business management at first. Eventually I realized I don’t know if I belong in this queer space.

RIBEIRO: Of FIT.

MCGUIRE: Because I was like, “Everyone’s mad gay and I’m—”

RIBEIRO: Everywhere you looked there’s New Rocks and Buffalos and—

MCGUIRE: I was wearing Fila. So I went to PACE and changed my major to creative writing. And that makes sense because my tweets are really funny.

RIBEIRO: I had a different interpretation of it. It’s like, “Ah, a trans major.”

MCGUIRE: That I majored in trans? Well, yes. I took a gender studies class. 

RIBEIRO: No, creative writing is an LGBT major.

MCGUIRE: Yeah. But I never finished school because COVID happened. And then I started being trans. I started doing TikTok and I was like, “If I can make money doing this, I’d rather just do this.”

RIBEIRO: What was the first one?

MCGUIRE: Well, I did create Christian Girl Autumn.

RIBEIRO: You did. You are the actual creator of Christian Girl Autumn. That’s not a question, it’s a statement.

MCGUIRE: I literally had googled “Christian girl outfits” and then Caitlin Covington popped up. And I was like “LOL, I’m going to use this as a meme.” I was really deep into troll Twitter. And then I made the post that was like, “Hot Girl Summer’s coming to an end. It’s time for Christian Girl Autumn.” And then the Christian girls saw it.

RIBEIRO: How did they feel about it?

MCGUIRE: They thought it was funny, It seems like they had a good sense of humor about it.

RIBEIRO: I’m sure once August rolls around, they’re cracking their knuckles. Like, let’s get this fucking moving.

MCGUIRE: Yeah, absolutely.

RIBEIRO: Were you working at any point in this time?

MCGUIRE: Well, when the pandemic happened I was out of a job for a little bit. Then I started working at Breads Bakery near Columbus Circle. Then I started working at Buffalo Exchange.

RIBEIRO: I also worked at Buffalo Exchange. Which one did you work at?

MCGUIRE: I worked at the one in Chelsea.

RIBEIRO: I worked at the one in Chelsea. It was my first job in New York City. Wait, who were your managers? 

MCGUIRE: Billy with the big butt?

RIBEIRO: Yes, Billy with the big butt.

MCGUIRE: “We’re looking for the best of all seasons.”

RIBEIRO: “Yeah, we’re looking for more skirts, like mini to maxi.” I’m not saying anything. But we were on the phone and vaping all day. Truly my favorite job I’ve ever had.

MCGUIRE: Well, you’re digging through piss covered shit all day.

RIBEIRO: Yeah, people screaming at you about nothing. We had to call the cops on people sometimes because the buy got so crazy. They were like, “I’m going to kill you right now. I’m going to wait outside and kill you.”

MCGUIRE: Oh my god.

RIBEIRO: Okay, we just got served our broccoli cacio e pepe.

MCGUIRE: You just got served.

RIBEIRO: Yes, miss thing. It feels much healthier than I envisioned it.

MCGUIRE: Right? Nonna would be proud. I’m Italian.

RIBEIRO: Wait, try the fries and the thing. The fondue is crazy.

MCGUIRE: Whoa. It’s mad milky.

RIBEIRO: I’m like all covered in cheese. Oh, we should play Fortnite.

MCGUIRE: I fucking love Fortnite.

RIBEIRO: Do you have a favorite video game?

MCGUIRE: Final Fantasy X.

RIBEIRO: That’s hot. The last game I loved was Persona 4.

MCGUIRE: Yeah, Persona is so good. I just love anything that’s turn based. I was a boy growing up. I am not going to front and be like, “I always knew I was a girl.”

RIBEIRO: Playing outside.

MCGUIRE: I loved being a boy, getting dirty. I fucking love PlayStation video games. GameCube is my favorite station of all time.

RIBEIRO: I was really big into Animal Crossing forever.

MCGUIRE: I’ve been listening to the soundtrack a lot. I listen to ambient video game music and play Candy Crush all day.

RIBEIRO: Wow. That’s major. Where are we in the timeline? 

MCGUIRE: I left Buffalo. By the way, I’m working at all these places for six months each because I just kept on getting misgendered everywhere. I was bricky though.

RIBEIRO: How do you build a house, my love?

MCGUIRE: Mama, you can’t build a castle without bricks. 

RIBEIRO: Many such cases. You also worked at Marc Jacobs, right?

MCGUIRE: Yes, I did. I mean, I’ll say that Marc Jacobs is family, and sometimes you fight with family.

RIBEIRO: Yeah. You were on the Heaven Couch. I think that the Heaven Couch was the origin of the clout bomb the way that we know it now. It’s like, “How many heads can we put in?” 

MCGUIRE: It was really crazy. But I love him. His SpongeBob tattoo is so major to me.

RIBEIRO: Also, his husband is everything.

MCGUIRE: His beefy gay husband.

RIBEIRO: Yes.

MCGUIRE: Like, fuck, I want that. Sorry, I’m being unladylike. I was born a man.

RIBEIRO: Does it ever feel like sometimes, especially for young gay people, that they keep a proximity to transness in the context of entertainment? There’s a lot of arbiters of culture right now who are trans women.

MCGUIRE: I think there’s a chicness to being adjacent to a trans woman that a lot of gay people chase. But also trans people are just so real that of course everyone is interested in what they have to say. Of course, I’ll be chatting with a faggot, I’ll make a tranny joke, and we’re all laughing and—

RIBEIRO: But don’t get too comfortable. Remember why you were invited into the section.

MCGUIRE: Be mindful.

blizzy mcguire

RIBEIRO: I think for every major trans diva, there are a few gay hanger-ons. Gay men need a pillar. I saw a tweet from this girl that was like, “Berlin techno gays are the new RuPaul’s Drag Race gays and the dolls are the queens they bet on.” They’re like an audience. 

MCGUIRE: Yeah. But at the same time I kind of just don’t mind it. Sometimes the lines blur. It’s like, “Do you admire me?” There’s this innate thing when you’re trans and you’re talking to a gay man like, “You’re so nice to me and flirty right now.” There’s a disconnect in the boundaries.

RIBEIRO: I also think that a lot of gay guys meet a trans woman and are like, “Am I trans? Am I attracted to her? Am I bi?” And it might actually be none of these things. 

MCGUIRE: Right? Maybe she’s just really cool.

RIBEIRO: Maybe look inward. Maybe she just gave you a bump.

MCGUIRE: Right? Maybe you just want a bump.

RIBEIRO: New York is famously home to a lot of eggs.

MCGUIRE: Oh my god. Holy shit. Everyone’s a fucking egg.

RIBEIRO: Everyone’s an egg. You don’t have to name names, but you could if you wanted to.

MCGUIRE: Jojo Siwa. Jojo Siwa is going to get top surgery in two years.

RIBEIRO: Something I hate is when people are like, “Kristen Stewart.” Kristen Stewart is not an egg. Kristen Stewart would’ve done that shit by now.

MCGUIRE: She’s a dyke.

RIBEIRO: The biggest eggs right now are still giving fem. 

MCGUIRE: Gisele Bündchen, she’s going to come out as a lesbian. That’s what I believe.

RIBEIRO: Love it.

MCGUIRE: I had a whole list of people who are going to transition. I think Dua Lipa is going to have a bisexual era.

RIBEIRO: She deserves it. Someone I spoke to was like, “Is James Charles going to crack?” I don’t know, some gay guys just love being a gay guy so much.

MCGUIRE: Well, when I started transitioning, I had trouble letting go of the gay man inside of me. 

RIBEIRO: But you definitely didn’t lose all your gay boys. Actually, it seems like you have way more gay boys than you used to.

MCGUIRE: Yeah. Before I transitioned, I was so shy. I never spoke growing up.

RIBEIRO: That’s really interesting. But a lot of people who are really funny online are shy in real life.

MCGUIRE: Now it’s all right. I did a fucking MAC campaign. You have to talk to so many people when you’re on set. And also being trans, you go out into the world and you look like a fucking freak. You got to talk to people actively knowing that they’re judging you every second that you’re talking to them. You have to fucking bite the dick.

RIBEIRO: You have to work your truth.

MCGUIRE: You have to work the house.

RIBEIRO: What’s some shit that RuPaul would say? “You have to get into your fierceness and live your sass.”

MCGUIRE: “We as gay people, we get to choose our family, honey.”

RIBEIRO: I need chosen family court.

MCGUIRE: Oh my god. When the non-binary roommate doesn’t do the dishes.

RIBEIRO: Wait, can we talk about gooning for a second? Because it really is a hot topic. Do you know anyone who said that they’ve gooned?

MCGUIRE: No, I don’t know anyone. I also don’t really have sex or anything. I’m kind of femcel, an involuntary celibate, just because everyone I make out with is gay.

RIBEIRO: Because you’re on gay guys.

MCGUIRE: Yeah, I’m kind of on that gay team. But—

RIBEIRO: Well, gay guys are the ultimate ones who are gooning.

MCGUIRE: Yes. Yes.

RIBEIRO: They’re the ones who invented gooning. I feel like all the videos you see on Twitter are performative. I don’t think they’re really enjoying anything. No one gets to enjoy stuff that much these days.

MCGUIRE: Right. With all these GMOs?

RIBEIRO: Yeah, all these microplastics and you think you can get off like that anymore? That was something the settlers could do. Two months of walking up a hill, and then finally you have a hour of alone time—

MCGUIRE: Lewis and Clark. Dropping loads in each other.

RIBEIRO: Lewis and Clark were the original gooners. You heard it here first at Interview.

MCGUIRE: Yeah.

RIBEIRO: Well, they say this is the most sex-positive generation, but we don’t have any sex. It’s like you’re so liberal that you’re conservative, which is real. Many such cases.

MCGUIRE: The party switch.

RIBEIRO: That’s like a lot of the scenes.

MCGUIRE: No, literally. What’s up with that? Dimes Square is literally conservative liberals.

RIBEIRO: What you think about Dimes Square?

MCGUIRE: I go out downtown a lot.

RIBEIRO: Do you listen to any podcasts?

MCGUIRE: I listen to InfoWars, but I used to listen to a lot of Trixie and Katya, that kind of stuff. 

RIBEIRO: I remember Trixie and Katya. I was on Twitter and saw something about this season’s drag queen who’s already been eliminated. 

MCGUIRE: It’s good.

RIBEIRO: Drag race is a thing again. I’ve recently started watching it for the first time in years and now I’m all, “Okay, work.”

blizzy mcguire

MCGUIRE: Me too. I mean, there’s something honestly so inherently trans about RuPaul.

RIBEIRO: Of course. Well, it’s also major that RuPaul is like, “If you get a breast job, you’re not coming on a RuPaul drag race.”

MCGUIRE: I know. Her whole thing is a response to Trinity. It’s her Tranny Chasers.

RIBEIRO: Well, have you ever heard the iconic RuPaul song, “Tranny Chaser”?

MCGUIRE: Oh, “Is there some tranny chasers up in here? Welcome to my stratosphere.” It’s so good.

RIBEIRO: I begged someone to drop it in a DJ set recently. It’s like, “Can I get a shot and a tranny chaser?”

MCGUIRE: It’s so fucking funny.

RIBEIRO: Can I have a shot and a tranny chaser?

MCGUIRE: A tranny chaser?

RIBEIRO: You have to ask the waitress.

MCGUIRE: “I ain’t got no time for no looky loo, boo”

RIBEIRO: Do you have a favorite queen?

MCGUIRE: I mean, a majority of them are poo poo. I really do love Katya.

RIBEIRO: Katya is the best of all time. I love the thing about RuPaul where RuPaul hates drag and has publicly said on record that if drag didn’t pay, she wouldn’t do it. When she’s sitting down on the judging panels and stuff, she’s wearing sweatpants, which makes sense. Famously, if you posted a photo of RuPaul in her sweatpants, they would copyright strike you. It’s the RuPaul industrial complex.

MCGUIRE: They got the AI searching for it.

RIBEIRO: I don’t think I’ve ever used AI.

MCGUIRE: I have. I put in Lana Del Rey playing Xbox with Barbra Streisand. It was like drinking Coca-Cola with Jesus.

WAITRESS: Here’s dessert.

RIBEIRO: Okay, let me flick these up.

MCGUIRE: Yeah, flick that bean.

RIBEIRO: You’re gooning for this dessert. What did you get, again?

MCGUIRE: Lemon torta caprese. It’s giving lemony white chocolate, sweet, creamy. I’m coming in my panties, this is so sugoi.

RIBEIRO: What’s sugoi? Oh, coffee’s here. 

MCGUIRE: I’m very Italian.

RIBEIRO: What makes you very Italian?

MCGUIRE: My ancestors coming here to Ellis Island, probably.

RIBEIRO: Who’s a fierce Italian in modern life?

MCGUIRE: I don’t want to say Lady Gaga, because I feel like that’s so tired.

RIBEIRO: But it’s true.

MCGUIRE: Honestly, I’ve never been a super fan of Gaga’s music.

RIBEIRO: My mom played The Fame Monster every day in my car growing up for like two years, so I was getting forcibly yassified.

MCGUIRE: You were forced to transition. Honestly—this sounds so bad. I don’t really have that many T girlfriends that I talk to every day. I’m also barely a girl at this point.

RIBEIRO: You’re queering the space.

MCGUIRE: I’m living and laughing. I feel like I’m so far from what the expectation of a trans girl is. I feel like so many trans girls are hyper fem. They kind of get their zhuzh from being girly. I’m like a butch queen.

RIBEIRO: There’s space for that. I think that gay men—

MCGUIRE: Ruin everything?

RIBEIRO: Create a narrative like, “The dolls, the dolls.” 

MCGUIRE: When a gay man says it, it’s like, “Shut up, Chucky.”

RIBEIRO: Wait, what do you think about furries? Because I’m trying to go to Anthrocon this year. 

MCGUIRE: I wanna come.

RIBEIRO: I want them to give us free tickets. I wanna carry with the fucking furries and do molly with them and dance at some weird rave.

MCGUIRE: I wanna get fucked by a furry.

RIBEIRO: And then we’re gonna get fucked—yes, because the hotel parties.

MCGUIRE: I think they have huge cocks. I’m not kidding. I feel like they’re all hung.

RIBEIRO: They can’t all be hung.

MCGUIRE: Well.

RIBEIRO: We’ll see. This is the most food I’ve eaten in a while.

MCGUIRE: I know. I feel spoiled. Thank you, restaurant.

RIBEIRO: Thank you, restaurant. What do you have to say to all the trades in New York?

MCGUIRE: My Instagram is @imblizzymcguire. My Twitter is @blizzy_mcguire. My TikTok is @blizzy_mcguire2.

blizzy mcguire