Casting Call: Rosemary’s Baby

In which we suggest who should star in the next big adaptation, remake, or historical film.

Roman Polanski’s classic horror flick Rosemary’s Baby tells the story of womankind’s greatest fear: getting knocked up by the devil. Everything seems hunky dory for the Woodhouses when they move into a shabby-chic New York apartment. Rosemary, the charmingly naïve housewife and Guy, the struggling actor, are young, attractive, and in love. However, things begin to go awry when they meet their eccentric older neighbors, Minnie and Roman Castevet. First, Rosemary eats some “odd-tasting” chocolate mousse and passes out. When she awakes, her husband calmly explains he has had sex with her while she was unconscious (which sounds a lot like rape to us). As Guy’s acting career flourishes and Rosemary’s pregnancy gets continuously stranger, she begins to suspect her husband may have struck up an unsavory deal with their creepy neighbors, who seem to care more than they ought to about the fate of her unborn child. Turns out her suspicions were right. Better late than never, Rosemary.

A big-screen remake of the popular film would likely fall flat, but a small-screen interpretation might do the original justice—if it were on the right network. Unfortunately NBC’s forthcoming Rosemary’s Baby miniseries may be as unpleasant as having nonconsensual sex with Satan, so we’ve chosen to cast a hypothetical HBO version instead.

Casting Call runs every Friday. For more, click here.