Myha’la Herrold Bagged the Tallest Man in the Room at the Burberry Party
MEL OTTENBERG: What should we talk about?
MYHA’LA HERROLD: We can literally talk about anything.
OTTENBERG: Yeah, we can talk about whatever we want, this my magazine.
HERROLD: Yeah, it is bitch! I love that.
OTTENBERG: I heard that Missy Elliot is performing at this party.
HERROLD: I just saw her. I saw the fluff of the hat, I saw the lips and the teeth and I just thought, “Whatever we are in store for tonight is is a godsend.”
OTTENBERG: Is the hat white?
HERROLD: Maybe, yeah. It’s big and furry and it’s a light color. I didn’t want to be embarrassing, so I just glanced.
OTTENBERG: My favorite Missy Elliot song is “Get Ur Freak On” and “X-tasy.” Do you know “X-tasy”?
HERROLD: No, I don’t know “X-tasy”! “Get Ur Freak On” is good.
OTTENBERG: “X-tasy” with an “X.” You’re wearing all Burberry. You look good.
HERROLD: Thank you very much.
OTTENBERG: What’s the key to looking good in a silhouette when you’re so petite?
HERROLD: Well, thank you very much, I’ll take that as a compliment.
OTTENBERG: You’re wearing the clothes. They’re not wearing you, babe.
HERROLD: You just have be like “I’m that bitch,” regardless.
HERROLD: And then you have to be like, “Yes, I’m wearing an all fuchsia moment and it’s crazy and I’m crazy,” you know what I mean?
OTTENBERG: Yes. So, New York or LA?
HERROLD: New York, that’s a horrible question.
OTTENBERG: It’s so disgusting, so I wanted to offend you with it, but I was hoping you had the right answer.
HERROLD: Always New York.
OTTENBERG: Are you single?
HERROLD: No! My man is right there. Look at him, he’s fucking hot.
OTTENBERG: I like the tall—
HERROLD: Yeah, I’m really fucking over all the tall bitches because I’ve got the tallest man in the room and I’m the shortest woman in the room.
OTTENBERG: I think the man I’m here with is taller than your man.
HERROLD: Shut up. How tall is he? Where is he?
OTTENBERG: I’m just going to pull him over and we’re going to stand next to each other. He’s 6’6”.
HERROLD: Fuck! One inch! You bitch!
OTTENBERG: Yes, I really like your man’s hair. Is your man Italian?
HERROLD: My man is Mexican and British.
OTTENBERG: Myha’la, I feel like we did a good job. We didn’t talk about anything at all, but why should we talk about anything else?
HERROLD: No, we’re the most interesting people in the room.
OTTENBERG: Yeah. Hold on, are you wearing any fragrance this evening?
HERROLD: Not tonight. Actually, I’m just wearing very strong anti-perspirant deodorant.
OTTENBERG: Oh, wow.
HERROLD: But usually I wear Design.
OTTENBERG: What’s Design?
HERROLD: Design is the fragrance that I grew up with. It’s old as fuck. It’s my mother’s favorite. I don’t know anything other that that it’s called Design. I think it might be gardenias, but it’s beautiful and sexy and soft.
OTTENBERG: I met these girls at this other party that gave me their new perfume which is called “Trauma.”
OTTENBERG: I’m going to try it on for you. It’s insane. It’s about like, self-destructive women in Hollywood and decay. And I think it smells like that.
HERROLD: I’m triggered. Oh my God. Wow, it’s nice.
OTTENBERG: I know, it’s like a trigger for an evil L.A. hellscape. Now that they’ve ended the strike, what are you going to do first, besides work?
HERROLD: Well I don’t actually have a job lined up, so I’m going to go find work. In the meantime, congrats to all of our sister unions and all of the crew members and all of the hair and makeup and costume people for holding out for us, because this contract is going to be better for all of us in the long run.
OTTENBERG: Yes, bravo, yes.