Weekend News Roundup! How to Grocery Shop Like R. Kelly

R. KELLY, A MAN WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS.

Happy Monday! Here’s our compendium of pop-culture news you may have missed while you were doing more important things over the weekend.

•  Jon Hamm and Amy Poehler hosted an Emmy’s Losers Party, in which recipients of an award had to donate $1,000 to World Wide Orphans and losers got in for free. [E!]

•  … Which means the Emmys must have happened, and apparently they were spectacularly boring. [Washington Post]

•  … But at least Breaking Bad, the best television show in the history of the universe, took home Best Drama. [CNN ]

•  Prisoners won a fairly anticlimactic weekend box office with $21.4 million, followed by Insidious Chapter 2 with $14.5 million and The Family with $7 million. [Box Office Mojo]

•  R. Kelly’s grocery list is not trapped in the closet—it is up on the Internet for all to enjoy! Highlights include hot dogs, bologna, only 3 bananas (no more, no less), and dino-shaped chicken nuggets. [Vulture]

•  Apple sold nine million iPhones in three days. [Reuters]

•  Miley Cyrus cried onstage, because twerking isn’t enough to generate buzz anymore. [NY Post]