Bieber Fever Goes Olfactory

Today, the Internet welcomes the first 30-second spot for Someday, Justin Bieber’s highly anticipated perfume (you know, the one with its own YouTube channel and official app that features a real-time countdown clock to the fragrance’s release, as well as the capability for something really nasty-sounding called the Bieber Bump™). And like all really effective advertising, the commercial tells you what you already know: the Biebs can fly.
 
OMG, just kidding! He can’t fly IRL; it’s a metaphor. In the commercial, when the girl sprays herself with the perfume, suddenly J-Biebs appears and makes her bedroom walls explode so that the two of them can soar up into the heavens and screw around in anti-gravity for a while (not screw around, though, because Justin is a gentleman) because that’s what Someday makes you feel like. Like he’s right there beside you! Like he’s got special sneakers color-coordinated to your outfit! Like he’s kissing your neck, but also sort of wetly exhaling onto it due to excitement and, one presumes, airsickness.
 
With his leather jacket and sufficiently spiky locks, JB appears to be going for an (even) less-threatening version of Edward Cullen. He even gives his female companion a brief ride on his back à la the tree-hopping scene in the first Twilight, which was pretty much the only part of that movie that everybody agreed was any good. There’s a lesson in this appropriation of one tween juggernaut by another, and it solidifies our opinion on the matter: whoever’s running Bieber’s show is a genius.