Rorschach Test

Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan Have Had It with Televangelists and Elon Musk

Jennifer Welch

Angie Sullivan (left) and Jennifer Welch of the podcast “I’ve Had It.”

In an era where positivity is being shoved down our throats, the Southern belles Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan revel in the art of complaining. The co-hosts of the hit podcast “I’ve Had It,” who also work as an interior designer and divorce lawyer, respectively, have made a name for themselves simply by telling the world what they cannot stand, from nosy neighbors to gender reveal parties. This, of course, makes them perfect candidates to take the Rorschach Test. So, before they embark on their “Hot Shit” tour, the best friends and former Bravo stars called us up last week to air their grievances with Elon Musk, carpeted bathrooms, man caves, and televangelists. 




JENNIFER WELCH: “Hate their guts. The whole thing needs to be burned to the ground.”

ANGIE SULLIVAN: “I would rather paint the interior of my office walls with a Q-tip than go to a PTA meeting.”




WELCH: “Awful. Hate. Horrible. Racket, total frauds, can’t stand them. They need to pay taxes. Their private planes need to be confiscated. They’re snake oil salesmen.”

SULLIVAN: “I do love a good televangelist docuseries, though, when they get all busted. Those are the best.”

WELCH: “Love a televangelist sex scandal. Oh, I totally love it when they’re stuck at some gay bar doing poppers and having sex in the bathroom.”




WELCH: “I’m more of a ‘Go fuck yourself’ person. Because when I picture, ‘Oh, bless your heart,’ I picture a Southern woman that is told, ‘You have to sit in this gender role and you must be female and you can’t say fuck.’ And it seems very antiquated to me.”




SULLIVAN: “I’m part of the problem, so I can’t say anything but good things.”

WELCH: “I mean, I kind of have a low-key crush on [Dateline host] Keith Morrison. There’s something soothing about hearing him talk about murder. I could just ease into my bed and just feel ultimately relaxed as he talks about homicide. It’s really fucked up.”




SULLIVAN: “100%, I think they’re the way to go. Because you like someone right before you marry them. When you divorce them, you hate their guts. So you’re in a better negotiating position when you both like each other.”




WELCH: “I’ve never listened to his show, ever. I don’t have a super strong opinion about him, but I think he was doing some anti-vax stuff on his podcast, if I remember correctly. And I’d would just say to him, ‘Kudos to you for making a lot of money and hustling, but don’t fucking talk about medical science if you’re a fucking podcaster slash comedian.’ I mean, I think white men have had a good run, but it’s time to start hearing from other people.”




SULLIVAN: “I hate them. Hate, hate, hate.”

WELCH: “Absolutely hate power moms that raise entitled monsters. It’s not a sustainable process. And as a parent, when you have to deal with a parent who thinks their child is perfect, typically that child’s a fucking asshole.”




WELCH: “I have a wonderful relationship with my sons, but a mama’s boy past the age of 10 or 12 is just a titty baby wuss. Nobody wants to marry a mama’s boy, so I think mothers do their sons a huge disservice when they don’t prepare them for adulthood.”

SULLIVAN: “I would say that there’s 50% chance your daughter-in-law’s going to hate you, anyway. We both have two boys. One of our daughter-in-laws is going to hate our guts. I mean, that’s just math. So I would say, I like a mama’s boy. I love my little cuddly sons.”




WELCH: “I don’t really think about Barbies that often, because I’m a grown-ass woman.”




SULLIVAN: “I’m out. I just see dog hair, farts. No.”

WELCH: “I’d much rather be in a restaurant with dogs than with babies and toddlers.”




WELCH: “When you do what I do for a living, and when people hire you, they’re usually having some sort of crisis in their home. And typically, they’ve accumulated a lot of stuff. I’ve been an interior designer for 25 years, and when I walk into somebody’s house and I see a bunch of stuff, I just want it all cleaned out.”

SULLIVAN: “I like minimalism just because I have horrible taste, and the fewer options I have, the better I am at deciding.”




WELCH: “Bravo was so good to us. Love the people we met that worked there. The type of reality shows I want are about fucked up religious cults, or preachers that end up being gay. I want Freudian toxicity.” 

SULLIVAN: “I want to have a dead body on my show. If I’m going to watch reality, I want somebody to be dead and we’re trying to solve the mystery.”



WELCH: “Train wreck. Petri dish. Do not advise. Run. If somebody is hiring me to give my professional opinion, I would say, ‘You immediately need to get this carpet up and get it to the dumpster ASAP.'”




WELCH: “If people want to do that, swing for the fences. But if I were to be brutally honest, I don’t. That would put me in a position that would expose emotions about myself that I wouldn’t like, like jealousy and anger. I can’t really introduce other people into the marriage.”

SULLIVAN: “As a divorce lawyer, I haven’t dealt with any polyamory, that I know of. But with swingers, typically it doesn’t end well.”




WELCH: “Suck the man cave. Let’s have a pussy palace.”




SULLIVAN: “Love it.”

WELCH: “I mean, I think it’s a wonder drug. Modern man has a sedentary problem because we have cars, we have ways to get around. And so now we have an obesity problem. And if you can skirt the system a little bit, what’s the difference between that and fasting? I’m all for it.”




WELCH: “Oh, is this like when you see, like ‘Braxeleigh’, B-R-A-X-E-L-E-I-G-H hyphen Lynne. Braxeleigh-Lynne. Stop doing that.”

SULLIVAN: “I’ve seen E-M-I-L-E-I-G-H. And I’m just like, ‘You’re just making it harder than it has to be.'”




SULLIVAN: “I’m a huge Sex and the City person, so I really like it.”

WELCH: “I like in the new season, when Carrie is a podcaster and she’s recording commercials. This is something new that we have to do for our podcast. And it was amazing how many take she had to do for a vaginal commercial. That was very real.”




WELCH: “Awful. It’s a terrible invention and it’s literally half-assing a product. I’ve had it.”




SULLIVAN: “Love it. It’s good with lots of gravy.”

WELCH: “I don’t like too much gravy. I only have maybe every four to five years because you instantly feel your arteries clog. You know a heart attack is imminent. But when I do eat one, they’re delicious.”




SULLIVAN: “Love it.”

 WELCH: “I’m iffy. Sometimes it’s over the top and can be a little too formal and disguises bitchiness.”




WELCH: “When I think about fangirls, I think about everybody going nuts about Taylor Swift and I don’t understand it. There’s no edge to Taylor Swift. If I’m going to go nuts over someone, I need for them to have an edge. Like, Rihanna’s got edge. Beyonce has edge. But I would 1000% fangirl over Rafael Nadal, the hottest man ever. Matteo Berrettini, total fangirl too.”

SULLIVAN: “I kind of like a fangirl. I mean, I would totally fangirl over Taylor Swift. She writes all her own music. You have to respect it.”




SULLIVAN: “Horrible billionaire.”

WELCH: “Horrible person. Totally fucked Twitter up. I’m glad Zuck is taking him down. He’s so bad that it makes you root for another person that is really kind of an asshole as well. But that’s how bad Elon is.”




SULLIVAN: “I love a good lunch date. But I don’t do group lunches. I know friends that I meet for lunch and that’s the only time I see them.”

WELCH: “I’m not really big on group activities. I don’t really like to do a bunch of stuff with large groups of women. Let’s get out of these roles where women are eating bonbons and lunching. Go fucking make your bread and have independence. I’m more for that.”