Name: Chris Carmack
Hometown: Derwood, MD
What's your greatest fear? Waking up in late 19th-century Paris as a third-rate impressionist.
If you could sic a shark on anyone in the world, who would it be? In the interest of maintaining plausible deniability... No one.
Do you have any special shark-fighting methods? I make scary faces and pretend to be a shark. They think I am one of their own and back down, or occasionally try to mate with me.
What about tips for innocent vacationers who want to avoid getting devoured? Don't swim with fresh ham hocks stuffed in your boardies... it sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised what some guys do to look good. SPAM is okay.
If the Jaws shark had to go up against a shark in Shark Night 3D, who do you think would win? I think the Jaws shark and the Shark Night shark would fall in love and make sweet babies.
What's your favorite scary movie? Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure. Two words: "Large Marge."
What else do you have coming up? I am actively campaigning for "chest hair" to become an Olympic sport. If that goes well, then I have a lot of training to do between now and London 2012. Wish me luck!
FILM STILL COURTESY OF STEVE DIETL