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A Very Weezy Trip to Amsterdam

First, let's get it out of the way: I've never met Lil Wayne, but something tells me he would appreciate Amsterdam's liberal approach to marijuana. Walk into any coffee shop and browse the menu, ask the clerk (barista?) for his recommendations on which strain will get you ‘stoned' versus ‘high,' and choose your preferred strain as easily as if you were really buying coffee beans. One gram: 20 Euros. Not getting arrested by the NYPD and going to jail for 8 months? Priceless. 

Nothing like Rikers: Let's say you do get caught doing something illegal. Don't worry! Dutch prisons are a long way from Rikers Island. In the Netherlands, burglars steal TVs from prisons, inmates are offered ‘regression therapy' by psychics, and if you stay in the Bijlmerbajes prison in Amsterdam, you get a riverfront view of the river Amstel. (So pretty!) But probably you'll never make it that far: the country has had to shut down prisons in recent years due to a lack of inmates.

Rivers and things: As a native of New Orleans, Wayne can probably appreciate a city that knows its dams. Amsterdam was built on a series of dikes and dams, and the city utilizes 17th-century canals to create a release for excess water. The canals allow for some truly awesome houseboats: some are hotels, and one is even dedicated to abandoned cats. Tourists usually stick to party boats and canal cruises, but smaller vessels are available to rent privately.

The world's biggest street party: Queen's Day is a national holiday celebrated at the end of April. Everyone ventures out into the streets to drink beer and attend parties and concerts, hit the clubs and bars, and trade goods in a nationwide garage sale. Sort of like Mardi Gras, but with drunk shopping.

Electric Ladyland: While in prison, Wayne read Jimi Hendrix's biography. A fellow Hendrix fan, American artist Nick Padalino, created a small museum in the Jordaan district of Amsterdam called Electric Ladyland: The Fluorescent Art Museum, devoted to black lights and fluorescent materials of all kinds. The museum is a one-room basement underneath a gallery that sells fluorescent paintings. Once downstairs, Nick encourages visitors—often high on mushrooms—to explore his sculptures and fluorescent treasures while Hendrix plays in the background.

Book learning: Anyone who ever visited WeezyThanxYou.com knows that Wayne has the soul of a poet, dabbles in creative writing, solicits book recommendations, and loves psalms from the Bible. So he would probably like the flea markets that dot Amsterdam, especially the book market at Spui Square in central Amsterdam, where every Friday shoppers can find antique English and Dutch books, prints, and maps.