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Casting Call: Rosaline

Utterly unrecognizable from the docile and naive girl from Shakespeare's pages, Serle has given Juliet the Regina George treatment. Juliet is petty, jealous, and hell-bent on stealing Rose's one true love and usurping her position as reigning popular girl. If memory serves, Emma Watson once mentioned in an interview that her dream role would be to play Juliet—although this was probably not what she had in mind. We suspect this Juliet would not get on too smoothly with Hermione if she ever found herself at Hogwarts (or Brown). Greedy, bitchy, and delusional sounds more like The Bling Ring's Nicki. Oh, how we love seeing the dark side of an otherwise pristine Watson.

 

 

Olivia, the blond bimbo of the group (no clichéd stereotypes here, ladies), is Rose's other BFF. Think Karen from Mean Girls. If they decide to go for a really young cast, Chloë Grace Moretz would imbue this rather bland character with some subtlety and depth. We would have loved to see Mad Men's promising talent, Kiernan Shipka, join the cast, but she may be a little too young, at 13. If, instead, they go for a more adult casting choice, our suggestion is Elizabeth Olsen, who made her breathtaking début in Martha Marcy May Marlene. Ever since, we have been waiting for her to score a Hollywood role with higher visibility. Our patience is wearing thin.

 

One of Rosaline's cool-girl posse, Charlie, a fiery redhead, provides our heroine with a shoulder to cry on when Rob goes running off with that jerk, Juliet. There's nothing like good girlfriends to get you through bad boy trouble. Deborah Ann Woll was apparently considered to play the Rose, but with those flaming locks, we think she would be better suited to the sidekick. Or, if they can afford her, it would be fun to see Emma Stone in the role. It's a long shot as she would probably be reluctant to return to high school, having graduated from the likes of Superbad and Easy A to leads in the new Cameron Crowe and Woody Allen projects. Still, this tragedy is in dire need of someone with her quirky wit to break up all that heartache with some laughs.

 

Everyone from Emilia Clarke to Keira Knightley and Lily Collins have reportedly been considered for the part of Rosaline. The author herself expressed interest in casting Shiri Appleby, of Roswell fame. We hope they keep looking. Ms. Knightley, pushing 30, may be a little old to play a high schooler at this point and we just can't see the Mother of Dragons pining over a boy with her BFF. As with Kristen Stewart, we feel that Collins has been at the helm of too many YA franchises, the latest being this summer's The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. Universal should go with someone who young audiences do not already associate with another fictional hero. We suggest Kaya Scodelario, better known as Effy from Skins. She was captivating as Cathy in Andrea Arnold's Wuthering Heights. We trust she will again bring freshness to a classic character. A younger Emily Blunt would also have suited, but as she already voiced the role of Gnomeo's bird, it may be a bit of a conflict of interest for her to go and play Juliet's nemesis.

 

The list of young, brooding (and English, if we get our way) heartthrobs who could potentially play Romeo—renamed "Rob Monteg"—is virtually endless. Anyone from our favorite (singing) French freedom fighter, Eddie Redmayne, to sunlight sparkler, R-Patz and novice male stripper, Alex Pettyfer, could do the job. Our vote is for Sam Claflin, that strong but vulnerable beauty handsome enough to draw attention—even from the likes of Johnny Depp—in Pirates of the Caribbean: on Stranger Tides and Snow White and the Huntsman. Claflin is already at risk of causing mass tween hysteria on an epic scale—think 1998 Leo Mania—after nabbing the role of Finnick Odair in the much-anticipated Hunger Games sequel, Catching Fire. Yes, "Romeo" will fit nicely on his résumé right between "Prince Charming" and "District Victor." Swoon.

 

Len is a sort of Chuck Bass type. A smoldering, mysterious, misunderstood bad-boy, he provides Rose's fallback love interest after she recovers (rather too quickly) from the whole Romeo heartbreak. If Ed Westwick isn't available, then we suggest they keep in mind another TV-show darling, Kit Harington, Game of Thrones' babalicious bastard. He has just the right brand of disheveled, rugged (PG) sex appeal. Douglas Booth would have also been perfect, but we will have to wait to see him as the doomed romantic, alongside True Grit's Hailee Steinfeld, later this year in Carlo Carlei's more traditional adaptation of Shakespeare's masterpiece.