For Irina's son, Konstantin Gavrilovich Treplyov, we have chosen Swedish man-beauty, and general tall person Alexander Skarsgård. We're not sure why this Nina would not return Skarsgård-Treplyov's affections, but hey, it's a movie (/play)!

In Chekhov's play, Sorin is Irina's brother and the owner of the house at which the characters have gathered. At 60 years old, he is considered old. To bring Sorin into the 21st century, we are going to make him 80, played by Christopher Plummer, and perhaps Irina's first husband, Konstantin's father, rather than her brother.

Those who turn their noses up at young-adult melodramas capitalizing on the vampire trend might wonder—why, oh why is Interview casting Nina Dobrev, whose biggest credit to date is The Vampire Diaries, as one of The Seagull's four central characters, Nina Zarenchnaya? Aside from sharing a name, Nina D. and Nina Z. both have a Slavic heritage (Nina D. moved to Canada from Bulgaria) and youthful, pretty faces.

We thought we'd apply this whole incestuous family dynamic, Greek-tragedy business to our casting process and nominate Stellan Skarsgård to play Boris Alexeyevich Trigorin, the novelist and center person in the Nina, Irina, Boris love triangle.

We nominate Lena Olina to play the proud actress Irina Arkadina, a character sometimes compared to Hamlet's Gertrude.

Alas, there are many more supporting characters then Casting Call slides, so we had to do some brutal picking and choosing here. We'd like our favorite ballet guy and one of our favorite Russians, Mikhail Baryshnikov, to appear in this film. Perhaps Baryshnikov could play Yevgeny Sergeyevich Dorn, the former-womanizing Doctor, to whom a lovesick Nina turns for advice.