Kate Mara might not exactly scream "naive and timid" (especially to those of you who watch American Horror Story), but that's why it's called acting! Besides, why should Rooney get all the good parts? These are our justifications for casting Kate as the heroine, Mrs. de Winter.

Jack Favell is the cousin and lover (eww) of the original Mrs. de Winter, the titular Rebecca. We nominate Henry Cavill for the role—which may seem like we are casting based on jawline rather than acting prowess, but the nefarious Rebecca would never have an affair with an ugly person, so...

We pick Fiona Shaw as our Mrs. Danvers, Rebecca's confidante and the de Winters' housekeeper who seems intent on tormenting the new Mrs. de Winter.

Michael Fassbender would be an obvious choice for the brooding, secretive Mr. de Winter; he did such a good job as Rochester in Jane Eyre. In an effort to diversify, however, we are not going to cast Fassbender and suggest Patrick Wilson as a potential alternative Maxim de Winter.

We think Embeth Davidtz should play Beatrice, Maxim's sister.

Frank Crawley, the overseer of the de Winter's infamous Manderley estate, is our poor heroine's only friend. We would like Irish actor Ciarán Hinds (aka Aberforth Dumbledore) to play our Frank.