JOEL DAVID MOORE (RIGHT).
Name: Joel David Moore
Hometown: Portland, Oregon
What's your greatest fear? Fear itself. And origami. I can't figure that shit out.
If you could sic a shark on anyone in the world, who would it be? Our military took out my target in Pakistan a few months ago.
Do you have any special shark-fighting methods? I lie belly-up in submission as the shark circles. Then I slowly bubble-sing Justin Bieber until the shark spirals into a panic, and that's when I strike. I use a combination of taekwondo and liquid muscle relaxers to make the beast submit. Then I perform "The Dougie" to coax him into a cage. I do not harm the beast.
What about tips for innocent vacationers who want to avoid getting devoured? Don't wear chum. That will always end poorly.
If the Jaws shark had to go up against a shark in Shark Night 3D, who do you think would win? Neither. The animatronics would win.
What's your favorite scary movie? Presently, Let The Right One In tops it. Also, Friends With Benefits.
What else do you have coming up? Oliver Stone's Savages, and Jewtopia, based on the play written by Sam Wolfson and Bryan Fogel.
FILM STILL COURTESY OF STEVE DIETL