"YOU WANT DNA?! I'LL GIVE YOU SOME DNA!"
Happy Monday! Here's our compendium of pop-culture news you may have missed while you were doing more important things over the weekend.
• After being sentenced to 30 days in jail for violating the terms of her probation (what else is new?), Lindsay Lohan served just four hours last night in jail and was released early due to overcrowding. California is really the place to commit nonviolent crimes, huh? [People]
• Justin Bieber, currently in Europe, will return to the States in two weeks and take a paternity test to prove he isn't the father of alleged-baby-mama Mariah Yeater's child. If it's not his, Bieber will sue Yeater. What's it gonna take to get Maury Povich involved here?! [TMZ]
• Jake Gyllenhaal missed his Friday-afternoon spin class at SoulCycle in Union Square, and the ladies who also attend the class were very disappointed. [P6]
• Puss in Boots somehow held onto the top spot in the weekend box office, making an additional $33 million; it was followed by debuts from Tower Heist and A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, at $25M and $13M, respectively. Paranormal Activity 3 held on with $8.5M, and In Time made $7.7M. [BOM]
• Radiohead has announced 10 tour dates in the US in February and March; none, alas, are in the Northeast. [Pitchfork]
• Among the celebrities who ran the New York Marathon yesterday were Apolo Anton Ohno, who finished in 3:25:14; Mario Lopez (4:23:30); and Christy Turlington Burns (4:20:47). Pretty impressive! We spent Sunday eating a burrito and watching TV. [SB Nation]
• Just a month after retiring his long-running, cranky 60 Minutes TV essays, Andy Rooney has died at 92. May he rest in peace in a heaven where the temperature is just right and where everyone knows that green is for vegetables. [CBS]
• A streaker interrupted the MTV Europe Music Awards, totally shocking Hayden Panettiere. [Gawker]
• A Monday morning LOL: the Spanish distributor of that recent Tom Hanks movie you didn't see, Larry Crowne, has to pay a fine of 30,000 Euros because the movie's poster, which features Hanks driving a moped without a helmet, "promotes reckless driving." The company also distributed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and are, perhaps understandably, a little dumbfounded that Larry Crowne is raising hackles. Larry Crowne! [THR]